my

i wrote "my" then stopped.
"my" what exactly?
i just realized, nothing in life is really mine/ours.
NOTHING!
it sucks.

sorry it wasnt in my intentions, for my first 2007 post, to be this depressing.
but it just happened. because its just is.

Happy 007 ;)

now james bond is thrilled i bet!
not the new blond ugly one but i mean the real bond.
ok shako new year and im talking about bond!!

btw im still ill, ive been stuck home for days
coz the weather keeps getting worst and everyone is telling me:STAY HOME!
but i still have those who hate me but think i dont know it and are like:
"wee miss u come out ... come out ... ull be just fine .... ( evil smile )"

so since i know better, i stayed in.

what am i doing for new years!! aaaahhhh ... N O T H I N G !
yeh i know .. very exciting.

ill probably just sleep throught it.
or make one special phone call ;)
or dance! but i dont feel like moving.

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo any suggestions? me mates?

*2006 top good things:
1- me greeny bloggi.
2- me having the guts and leaving me job.
3- me hair cut.
4- me new cam.
5- me meeting lots of amazing ppl :**
6- me superman.
7- me trip.
8- me sista havin triplets.
9- me friends comin back to kuwait.
10- me redbull and green olives, discovery.

soooooooo whats urs? doesnt have to be ten .. anything 3adi!

yallah ppl dont want to long on u.
love u all see u next year :*

*ps: *update: thanks to my bro chai 7aleeb, i forgot to say:
merry xmass - eid mubarak - happy new year . lol walah i totaly forgot.

little boxes

"on the hill side"
but have we no hills !
kuwait is depressing.
i know its my country and i love it, but its depressing.
al7imdela 3l ni3ma , but its depressing.
for one reason, the theory i came up with im sure been told before.
but actually living it was more of an experiance i had.
so ... why going to anyother country is always considered a break and a good thing? for one simple reason: OUT DOORS.
u get to have big space, ur eyes see endless horizon, u can feel space around u and its just simply opened. u can see the sky and everything is fresh.
where in kuwait, our beloved country. which i believe the reason for what im about to say is: theres nothing perfect.

we literaly do live in boxes 24/7
i landed, walked in the airport a a very big box.
then i say hi, get in the car, a small box.
drive all the way home looking at these huge to big to small and mediuim boxes all the way.
im home, i walk in and im in a different kind of box, a big one. but still its a box.
then i walk into my room, the box is shrinking.
then i getonline, my laptop is a very small box.
sign on msn, chat in the smallest box. and spend hours in it.
other spend time on TV the most popular box in the world.
endless boxes in kuwait and u find them everywhere in every corner.

we live in all sorta boxes but not all notice that.
i belive many are maybe even depressed because of that and not know it.
humans and all living things are meant to be free. we need space, we need nature..
and if any of u comes out and say that "desert" -al bar- is nature i will kill u X@
coz to me going to the -bar- is considered a punishment.

were always in something, a ceiling is always above our heads.

yes it is depressing.
and i love weeds.

this is not worth reading, if ur busy

almost everyone i know is either been ill or is ill is going to be ill soon ....
esmila 3laikum o 3alaina gameee3an :*
anyways im so pissed at our weather! its SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
no no ... its TOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COLD!!
its too cold that i can feel my bones cracking sometimes, like u know when u smash two cubes of ice .. it feels the same.
im so cold i dont want to move, my nails are purple most of the time and i just hate it..
since i have the weakest immune system in the family and since i dont like to eat much or take any shots or meds.
im the first to catch any illnes and the last to recover from it.
ok i dont know why this long introduction !
maybe its because i cant speak .. so im like bringing out my heat (a6ali3 7arity) in this post.
one more thing, when im bored i tend to do this, u know translate each word literaly not the meaning but the word...
ok so im ill and bored and pissed and cant speak.
anyways i cant believe i didnt start yet with the story ...!!

soooo ..
i was supposed to go out with the girls, bella was one of them,
so i call to tell her i dont think ill be able to come coz i cant really speak and i need to stay away from this mean weather.
so i call and shes like:
bella: zanooob shfeech!! shfee 9oootich chithe?
me: im sick!
bella: sweeety then dont come .. u should rest :*
me: i know, im so sorry i so wanted to see u girls.
bella: ok look i have a magical recp! boil some water, then put in it salt and squeez a lemon in. then wait for it to cool shwaya then gargle (`3ar`3ara) u know when u have water in ur mouth and u go - `3rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-.
me: ok again, what are the ingrediants?
bella: hot water - salt - lemon.
me: ok thanks dear :*

so i ask the maid to boil some water and bring a mug. i got the lemon and sliced it into half and the salt .. the water was boiling very hot!! so since i consider this cooking i was taking it very seriuosly didnt want to mess it up, so i kept on putting salt lots and lots of salt and stirring it, then was the lemon turn, so i squeezed half a lemon there ... and kept on stirring waiting for it to cool shwaya .... and then as i was stirring i was so happy that i got it all right.
i didnt mess it up this time. so i held the mug, and down it goes....
i took the first sip, and GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! was it nasty!! i looked like the ppl we see on tv u know when they get to drink for the first time, they take a shot then go : AAAAAAAAAAA7777 its so strong! i went exactly like that!
then, i took another and another and another..... i kept thinking!!! how did bella handle this?
how could she drink this!!!!?????? its too strong?? i wanted to throw up more than once but kept on forcing it coz i wanted to get well very bad coz i have a party tomorrow and i really wanna go and have fun.
and then after all the torture ive been through i look in the mug and theres the last shot!
and i was like finally, bottoms up!
right there, exactly in that moment, my brain my dear brain that loves me alot.
decided to remember that bella sadi : GARGLE!!!!! `3AR`3ARAAAA not DRINK!!!!
- i officialy had every right to cry -
coz not only a sore throguht and a blocked nose and infected ears but now also my tummy really hurts!!!! i drank the entire thing, and it tasted worst than sea water. - aaaaaaaaaaaah 3la 7a`6y al minayil b siteeen alf neeela -

@@ ok, i know. my brain hates me coz it keeps doing this to me. u know enjoys putting me in pain and forgetting all the things i need to rememeber.

so yes that is my sad little story.

o ili mare`6 out there, i feel u ... wili not, take shots and be careful , wili is better now o 6aaab alf 7mdela 3l salama :*

im so za3lana 3la our weather :(
ok when i speak it feels i have a needle in my throat the more i speak the deeper it goes x/ nasty feeling.

finally would like to thank all my loyal readers who actually put up with this rediculosly long long post!! wallah how do u do it guys!! ;) (ur z best)

warning:

dr.lost u are not allowed to comment on this post, and if u do i will not publish it lol and u know why u meany @$%#%^ !!! so again, do not comment! i mean it.

*ps: the worst part bought being ill is not being able to hug ppl :``(
*pps: i bought some boots from this really cool kuwaiti site, free home delivery and got some nice things very very good prices so give it a try ;) www.shestyle.net
*ppps: i love u daloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool :*

one last thing, i googled "glass of water" images for this post! and iwas shocked of the insane number of pictures ppl take for a glass of water!! i mean who would want to take a pic of a glass of water!! i still dont get it??? hehehe crazy ppl ...

and im sooo hyper i rreally need to stop typing ,, yalah bye.

7ason dooda thanks for editing this one for me.

"i have touched you"

shivering,
shaking like a twig
-painful comfort-
you wrote with your skin...
all the words you ever learned,
on my flesh

but one.

My Trip

day1

first things first.
i would like to apologize to all my girls ,,, wallah wallah wallah i love u.
every italian i saw u were there with me in my mind ..and heart, dedicated every moment of hot beauty and manly men and tanned skin, black hair, big brown eyes tallness ... GAAA GAAAA men were so everywhere that everytime i saw one i couldnt bear look at. u know the feeling when someone is sooo hot u wouldnt dare look at, let alone take a picture of!
that was me ... i just couldnt i tried so hard! :```(
but again u were there always there my girls :**************************

-deep breath-

so now i was in a lovely hotel, just near the central station which is like the heart of milano.
id wakeup at 7am have breakfast, then leave at 8am. i would take long long walks endless walks .. come back at 8pm.
go shopping eat in pezzerias, coffee shops, resturants, book stores, shopping again, station visit some other places, walk to the park just stay there take pictures ...
i talked occasionaly with people, it breaks my heart how friendly they are
one of the interesting things that happened:

i was in a book store, then i heard a voice, an italian speaking in his beautiful italian language, so i look up and hes as beautiful as his italian. so shyly i smile and say: no capisco, i dont speak talian.
so he smiles back: ur not italian??
me: no im not.
him: u speak english?
me: yes i do ...
so it started as a very friendly conversation asking me what im doing here in italy, and where im from .. he was such a gentle man.. and then he asked me a question that no one ever asked me before, i mean a stranger:
him: would u like to have some coffee?
me: !!!! ???
-pause-
me: what?
him: coffee, can i buy us some coffee so we can talk?
me: -looking away- ummmm ... i dont know ... - i was completely lost didnt know what to say this line i only heard in movies and tv never did i expect to hear it in real life. Unfortunately as interesting as it seemed to be, i had to say no for many reasons-
im sorry but i cant.
him: its just coffee!
me: i know, id be glad to , but i really have to go, im busy and have many things that i need to do.
him: -smiling knowing that i just made that up- sure ofcourse, i really hope i will see u again then.
me: sure, u take care and nice meeting u.

-sigh-

hes mc.dreamy for sure. such a dreamy guy.
i love it when its winter and cold, guys have to wear dark clothes specialy the dark turtle necks they wear!!! -aaaaahhhh- i just love them!!! with a dark grey scarf wraped round their necks falling on their shoulders. just a perfect image of a dressed guy. ok i dont mean that i have images of undressed ones, im just saying this would be a perfect dressed one... ok just forget i said that, anyways

im supposed to be asleep by now coz im gonna go see my 7UBI DALOOOOOOL :*******
7ubi walllah nawarat lkwait ... bellla is back and now dalol is back to !! so now all i can say is im a happy girl in kuwait whos gonna be extremely busy with her friends :************
klaaaaab a7ibkum yashagol :***

more posts and adventures coming ur way ppl . sorry 3l long post.
and noooooooooooooooooow u can take a tour in my flickr :D my entire trip is there.
i really hope u like them, theyre kinda not organized, but theyll do.

*update: i have organized them by date taken in a set.

No3iks Flickr

taaa taaaa :*

IM BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!! ;)

It feeeeels so good to be home, home as in my real home and my greeny little bloggy home.
i have misssed u alll so very much!
many many many maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaany things happened ! ;)
im not going to tell all ofcourse, but i must say i wanted u there when they took place ;p.
my trip was pure fun, i really needed the time off and away.
self discovery i guess, and i explored many other things.

i have found out that there is one thing that tops the pleasure of shopping and taking walks with hot italians included, and it is taking pictures.
i couldnt stop taking pictures where ever i went, it just felt so different! ur eyes see something, and u feel instantly; u want to keep what ur eyes are seeing right now, from the exact same angle, freeze the moment and keep it forever.

it is sublime, im in love with my new camera which was a gift from my dear lovely dad :**** gave it to me just before leaving. -i love u dad-

the first thing i did when i came back, was hug everyone, i literally wanted to hug everyone even strangers! i missed everyone so much.
when i got home, my dad asked me to watch a video he recorded when i was away, because it reminded him of me ;) isnt HE the best!!
anyways.... heres the video and ppl...ENJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY!
PLZZZZZZZZZZZ when u watch it, dont only watch, but also understand -think-
this is exactly what ive been talking about all this time. but now instead of words and letters, its being done.
:* hugs to everyone to alll of u who left me comments, they brought me to tears wish u could see how much i love u all -walllllah i do :***-
special thanks to my wonderful assistant dooda ;) -applause- u did a GREAT job. thank u thank u thank u grazie mn kil galbi wallah :)

ummmmmmmwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaah -HUGE GROUP HUG-

ill be back with more and more inshalah. take good care :*
and buonanotte ;)

Free Hugs ReUppies

exactly what ive been talking about
READ
everytime i watch this video!! i get goosbumps and cry!!
every time.

*ps: ill be posting all pics as soon as i load them inshallah ;)
*pps: im still job hunting! can u believe that?!! :p
*ppps: special hug to my special lovely most beautiful and nicest friend Digmo :**

arrivederci

im on my way to the airport.
will miss u alll sooooooooooooooo very much :***
when ever u pass by my blog, say what ever it is on ur mind ;)
my lovely assistant dooda will be publishing all comments
ill be back inshalah in 10-14 days.
con amore, no3ik.

ps: to all my girls, im bringing u back some hot italians ;) hehehe love u all.
:**** bye

priceless

i dont feel like writing apost.
i dont even know what to write about!
i so far wrote three posts: how life is all about give and take, the weather and karma...
then i deleted them all. because i dont feel like writing and im kind of forcing my self to write.
my last post was very depressing, and for that i would like to apologize.
no one was able to figure it out, but it was about cheating.
the third person.. the un known is a "she" that i wish no harm, i just wish "she" would disapear.
but now i feel much better -alhimdilllah-
i was able to wakeup this morning and take a walk on marina beach, where the weather was exquisite! -mashalllah mashallah-
i also interacted with ppl. i was smilling all day actually ;)
i have realized, nothing in this world is worth a moment of u not being able to smile.
seeing total strangers, smiling for me, and i smiling back helped a lot, so now when i do it, its for anyone out there who needed it as much as i did in the past few days.
so, im smiling right now.
and i wish ur doing the same :*
:)
love u all.

*ps: to my best friend "f" 7 bebty i want you to know, we`re here for u, i know its hard, but well make it easier inshallah. a7ibich :*
*pps: thanks for ur comments and support! they mean the world :*

enjoy ur weekend! ;)

chest pain

how can a total stranger, cause so much pain?
someone that doesn't even know you exist,
comes in between!
a thing, a third person, that becomes as alive as you are.
you cannot confront or give your back to.
with its haunting intensity, everywhere.
I hug the pain, I hug my pain.
maybe with time, pain will fall in love with me.
and gentler, it may want to be.

im so tired

*ps: my fav cereal is honey nut Cheerios ...whats urs?