strap me to a bomb

on a school day,

so that after the morning...
there will be a beautiful pink fountain for the kids to play,
later, they can have fun gathering the remaining parts;
of their neighbors, parents ...
or even their own.

Strap me to a bomb,
so i can declare to the world
my way of thinking ...
beliefs and views -
trust me, they will only want to join.

Strap me to a bomb,
where the more people are there, the merrier
i will be a hero for killing;
the evil who disagree with me.
have no worries, its a fair game
the good ones who die,
will later want to thank me.

Strap me to a bomb,
so that after the blood bath
the image will be clearer,
for the world to see
that i was right
and everyone else,
is simply wrong.

*ps: this poem is inspired by the death of Benazir Bhutto.
may allah rest her soul and all the innocent souls that have died in war/suicidal bombings.
i have always wondered ... how possibly hard it is to just want peace in this world!

Happy New Year ya Gama3a

i do know that this is going to be a very special year :)

the best thing is when someone asks you:
"what do u wish for this year? "
you think very hard about it, and your honest answer would be:
"Nothing! i already have all what i want .. alhimdelllah .. :) "

so for everyone again inshalllah a great year ahead ..
love u :*

Confused!

i got an sms today from someone ... it was a trange number, telling me that her fathr had passed away, and where theyre going to have the "3aza" !!!

i tried to remember whos number it was!!! i searched my phone book thinking i may have saved the same number twice and thats why im not getting the name!

i then called some of my friends asking them if they knew the person who passed away "coz his name was in the sms" but no one knew him! the name was not familiar at all!

i felt so bad for not remembering her, i kept thinking i must know her ..
untill i gave up and decided to call, give my condolences, pretend to know who she was, and hopefuly maybe from our conversation my memory might dig up who that person is .. so i called :s and when she picked up her voice was obviuosly very different! because she was crying!! :s

i told her how sad i was to hear the news, prayed for all of them! she thanked me a lot .. and then i had to hang up!

BOTTOM LINE!

i still dont know who it is??? :`( but when i called she knew who i was!

im a TERRIBLE person!

we need to Hibernate!

its weird how in winter, u just dont want to wakeup!

but when you think about it, its not weird at all .. its only NATURAL!

most living things hibernate in the winter do not go out or move! they sleep for months waiting for winter to be over! animals that are rough and tough cant even handle the weather.. for example bears.. they hibernate in caves from October till May.

Where we!!! WE!! wakeup at 6am!! leaving our warm warm lovely beds behind.. taking a shower in the COLD! wearing layers and layers of clothes.. driving in our freezing cars .. that takes around 15 mins to heat up

then forcing us to actually not do all fo that BUT EVEN WORK!

my nails are purple x`(

they are asking us to break the courses of nature .. its only natural for our bodies to be less productive and active .. its only natural that we need to rest some more, eat some more and sleep some more.

why dont they get it! were human beings .. not machines!

i know this sounds like a very typical early morning vent.. but i was depressed and couldnt sleep all night because i kept thinking i have to wakeup at 6am when its 6degress outside!

its inssane .. wallah... someone needs to do something about this.

-HHHMMMFFFFF-!!

ok now i feel little bit better .. no not realy :(

To all the Hijajj out there ;)

ppppppppppp3laikum b alf alf alf alf alf 3afyaaaa!! ;)

i was supposed to go to Hajj this year .. but two major things in life stopped me from going .. now im hoping next year inshalllah ..

please please Allah let it be next year :(

i so badly want to go! i long to see Mecca and al Kaaba .. ive never been there before, i never saw them in my life ..

thats why i cant wait to go to Hajj. ive heard alot of others experiances, which only made me more eager to go through with it my self.

i think Hajj is when one reaches the sublime in his life, the peak of having an outer body experiance, being closest to your soul and creator.

sub7an allah :)

anyways so everyone 3edkum embarak .. o ed3oooooli inshalllah next year ill be there wearing all white .. and having the experiance of a life time :)

tc love.

*ps: so long to all the 5urfan (sheep) out there :(

hmmmm ...

im chewing an extra mint gum and thinking of absolutely nothing.
but the gum.

i now realise i miss manythings; one of them is my thoughts.

in other words i miss my blog :(

Story Time

i was up all night packing. our car has finally arrived, the ride from karlovy vary to pragues airport .. will take about two hours .. i kept busy eating the most delicious green apple i ever had.
as i looked through the window, i couldn't help but love how the greens wouldn't stop flashing in front of my eyes. i knew how much ill miss this sight, i knew i wasn't supposed to close my eyes, but my head kept getting heavier and so did my eye lids .. i leaned on the window my head against the glass .. wearing my shades, and i slept ...

i woke up two hours later .. i took my purse .. got off the car, on my way to the airport and suddenly i stopped!! you know the gut feeling u have when u feel like u left something behind. i quickly open my purse and i found my sunglasses! :D relief .. they're here ... so i keep on walking .. load the luggage, it took us around two to three hours i cant remember really ... the place was very crowded.
board the plane take a seat ... finally i can sleep now .. then a very cute air hostess comes to me and says "please would you please switch off ur phones" .. "of course" .. so i open my bag, i start looking for my phone .. @@ and i cant find it!!!! its like every girls night mare.
im stuck on an airplane and my phone is somewhere out there!! .. it must of been "it" the thing i left behind in the cab!!! i hated the moment .. felt totally lost and pissed at myself. i was literally strapped on my seat and was not able to do anything about it.

BEST PART

we landed .. as soon as i got home .. i emailed the cabs company asking them if they found a phone .. they replied back "YES WE DID" ;) i thank them, then i asked for their address so i could fedex it back ... and here how it went:

First of all

fedex thank you guys!! u did a GREAT JOB! although it took like two weeks .. but it was job well done .. so thank you :)

i wokeup to see a Fedex package right next to my face! ;p

i was sooooooo happy .. i hurried up to open it .. in side the package was a wrapped box ..

and inside the box was magazine papers! wrapping something else .. lots of magazine papers .. i open it again .. LOL and i was shocked!! @@ hint ... this was during Ramadan ..
the very kind cabs company .. wanted to make sure they deliver the phone safely in one piece and they also wanted to make sure it didn't get bored on the way,"keep it with good company" ;p so they decided to wrap it with a PORN magazine!!!! LOOOOL

*had to censor the pic ;p

every time i remember how it looked i cant stop laughing .. yes .. it was too much .. but then again .. it was for a good cause ;p i don't know .. now i can say that everything in life must have a reason, a good one ;)

moral of the story: try and be creative when u wrap something, oh and always double check after u leave a car or an airplane ;p

love u :* take care.

3edkum embarak :)

wish everyone a happy Eid with family, friends .. and all ur loved ones.

can't let go

clinging and choking ...
hugging u, releasing the pain,
swallowing my tears,
stroking and sobbing ...
soaking ur fears.
the more i try to push it down,
the more it fights to rise up.
i don't want to look at you.
i couldn't bear the feeling,
not being able to see u -and ur kids- when ever i want to.
so i keep pushing it down,
for your sake, not mine.
as it tries to surface up again,
the pain was resting on my bare lungs.
it hurts ... the burn, the ache,
i held it in again.
i was suffocating;
my heart racing,
my blood raging.
my throat turned in to steel,
i can no longer speak or tear.
i was going to throw up my own heart,
as i kept choking on it.

instead, i never got to even say goodbye.


*ps: to my beloved sister, u have no idea how much i will miss u, inshallah we will see you next year .. take good care of yourself and the kids :*

another break

i know i haven't been posting lately, but i can say that; maybe its better not to post at all than post depressing stuff ... im going to be away on my very much needed summer vacation.
hopefully when im back, ill feel fresher and better. i really miss my blog and miss u all.

take good care :*