suicidals

when a guy stretches his arm ... pulls up his sleeve ..

and says: "release me from my misery"

and no it was not a joke, he totally meant it, he did that only after i asked him: "can i help you?" not to mention .. i ve only known him for two days!

i think im dealing with a real suicidal here ... he sometimes scares me ..
i dont know what to do! :(

*ps: i miss my domain :(

(bgara) accident

i and hub driving .. we reach a turn and stop .. waiting for the cars to pass by .. and suddenly (DABO0M!)

a car hits us from the back .. i felt the entire crash go straight to my back ..

.. hub goes out ..

i could see the drivers face in the rear mirror (unfortunately a woman) yes i know how predictable .. and she had both hands covering her face! she was sooo afraid and shocked ..

she comes out of her car .. and the minute she does all i could hear was YELLING!

i couldn't believe my eyes! shes the one who hit our car .. and shes the one upset!

the first thing my hub said:

"u just hit my car! and my wife is pregnant inside!!! why didn't u stop??!!"

she replied: "WELL I DIDNT SEE YOU! ITS NOT MY FAULT! and theres nothing wrong with your car .. why are you complaining"

hub: "its not just the car! and yes there is something wrong .. u ruined my rear bumper .. its broken cant u see!" he pointed at the damage ..

she: ... "its minor minor damage!! it wont cost much .. and how do i know this damage wasn't here before i hit u!!!"

OMG! the nerve she had .. calling us liars! :s

i was sooooooooooo pissed! i wanted to drive over her yelling face ..

i knew she was a (bgara!!) type of woman, from the way she was talking .. and i knew she maybe didn't have insurance and thats why she was trying to get out of it by making a scene ..

i called hub .. all i wanted was to go home .. because my back was killing me .. i asked him to please just take me home .. and let the B**** go away .. i couldn't stand her any more ..

*ps: to who ever u are (the woman) i hope u somehow read this .. the pic of the post is dedicated to you.

hope everyone is well ;*

just another day

im at work and im so depressed,
you sometimes wakeup knowing that this is going to be a bad day.
there are no signs for bad days .. you can never see them coming.

i have lost my phones charger, my phone has been switched off for two days now. funny part is, if i want to get a charger now I will have to buy the same phone again just to get the charger from the box! since my very smart phones company decided not to sell chargers. But I have to say living with out a mobile for the past two days, have been a bliss, reminded me of how we used to live before ...the good old days. No attachments just you out there doing what ever u are doing no distraction or interruptions. it was sweet :)

so back to now, im so hungry i did not eat a thing yet I don't think I will until lunch time.

I want to see my friends .. more specifically (dalol) since she's back in Kuwait for Easter .. but i cant! and I really don't know why?? lol 7adna day5en!

last but not least i would like to thank all the ppl who smoke indoors with no respect or what so ever for the other clean lungs breathing around them! thank you for suffocating us, thank you for ruining my makeup (since im allergic and get teary eyes when exposed to smoke), oh and thank you for making me smell like a chimney.

obviously my day is still not getting any better neither is my mood.

thats why i had that (top) pic .. hoping for good luck to come and save the day :) what can i say im a hopeful person.

hope all is well :*

BIG News!

i still cant believe it!

im speechless ...

yes, its me ...

hey mom,
how are you .. its been very long since weve last talked ..
well technicaly its now 4 years 6 months and 19 days.
i wonder bout ur life alot .. what do u do everyday ?

hows ur hair now? what do u wear? do u have friends?
do u hear/see me .. ? or is it all a myth?
i sometimes wonder if u even remember me?

you have no idea how much i need u right now specialy now .. my life has been changing alot .. many many things .. most of them things u wanted for me .. and now theyre all happened/happening .. but ur not here to see or share them.

i cant get over the last nite i spent with you, how u asked me to curl up in ur lap and stroked my hair just like i was 5 years old again! u just wanted us to have mommy/daughter special time .. i sometimes think that u knew that i wasnt going to see you the next morning, but u didnt want to tell me.

instead u gave me a great good nite kiss, and let me sleep. i dont want to remember waking up from that awful day.

life is funny, keeps taking then giving, thinking by giving its somehow making up for what it took ..

anyways mom ... i tried manythings to stay intouch with you .. everything .. so i thought i havent tried my blog .. lol i sometimes wonder if u guys up there have internet ?? well maybe u dont need it .. i bet if u had it ur connection would be way faster than ours!

so this is me childishly, hoping that in heaven u maybe have internet and that u will actually type http://www.no3ik.com/ knowing that its ur daughters blog and also knowing that shes posting something for u to read ..
but im not hoping ull comment back coz that would be too much to ask for ..

i love love love love love love u sooooooo much 7bebty ..
missssssing u like hell .. hoping ill see u .. please even in a dream
i need to see u ok :*
love u.

How far?

when a friend calls, because he/she needs somone to talk to ..
just to talk .. vent .. and repeat what theyve been saying for the past 5 years ..

as a real friend your supposed to listen .. and care ..
simply be there .. but what if that friend of urs wanted more from you ?
what if they wanted advise .. what if they wanted you to pin point exactly what they should do .. regarding a life altering situation ..

as a real friend what should you do?

should you get your self out of it .. pretend that you have no idea, that you dont know what should be done! ..

although in my case .. and for the past 5 years i know exactly what should be done, and i know exactly that its the ONLY way out .. but i never dared even whisper it .. for many reasons ..
one of them is i do not want the responsibility of what may happen later on .. also, i belive people .. mature people should decide such things on their own.

so back to the question .. if a friend asks you what to do .. and insists on it ..
that it comes from you .. as a real true friend .. what should your answer be?

hope all is well :)

I hate politics ...

i really really do,
the world is filled with people and its only normal for them to think differently, have different backgrounds and take different stances.

politics only enhance these differences and turns them into a problem! politics seeks to let some get over the heads of some, to take whats not theirs, to get into struggles and endless arguments .. politics has been through all ages described as "UGLY" and thats the truth. Its dark and it dismantles the natural balance of society.

-

"A man who does not think for himself does not think at all. It is grossly selfish to require of one's neighbour that he should think in the same way, and hold the same opinions. Why should he? If he can think, he will probably think differently. If he cannot think, it is monstrous to require thought of any kind from him."

Oscar Wilde, The soul of man under Socialism 1891

what i hate more than politics is "IGNORANCE" people who take stances with out any research or information, people who are being brainwashed and spoon fead all what they know .. people who do not think for them selves and just want to think and say what everyone else is saying! this is the bigger problem.

History is repeating it self and Kuwait is being shread to pieces .. with out taking any sides and with out even mentionnning what im talking about .. IGNORANT kuwaitis are the cause of this problem! if only they researched .. if only they checked what they have read if only they sat and thought for them selves for a minute .. and looked at all the facts .. half of the fuss and trouble we have would be gone if not did not exist in the first place.

I wish all of whats happening would stop, whats in the past is in the past .. the present says that were all living on this peaceful loving land .. why isnt it bringing up people that are peaceful and loving as well? whos falt is that? no titles for once ,, no strikes for once ,, no fights for once,, no bashing for once .. just us .. living together understanding one another .. thats all it takes.

I would like to end with a prayer: Dear Allah please let us live in peace, dont let us fight any more.. let this crisis pass on quickly and let it be the last one inshallah .. Allah please protect kuwait and all kuwaitis from any harm, even if it was from eachother .. again let us be at peace and content ya Allah.

hope everyone is well :)

Today i Turned 20...

SIX! ;p

Your Birthdate: February 16

You're incredibly introverted and introspective. You live inside your head.You spend a lot of alone time meditating and thinking.People see you as withdrawn, and at times they are right.You are caring and deep, but it may be difficult for you to show this side of yourself. Your strength: Your original approach to thinking Your weakness: You tend to shy away from others Your power color: Pale blue Your power symbol: Wavy line Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Most of what it says is total crap! but
its fun to read these things :)
love u all :***

The Parliment Needs Some 'Love'

Happy 'love' day to all ..

i know we can celebrate 'love' everyday ..

but people who know the value of love will know that it deserves a day to be celebrated and expressed in everyway you can :)

specially for 'those' .. the ones who are either always busy to love, or are afraid to show their emotions .. its a good day to give them a push, or space to remind them of what their missing ..

valentines has nothing to do with politics. . or religion .. to celebrate one of the greatest emotions .. is something universal that all living things experiance and share .. just like we celebrate freedom and peace .. love is also worthy of its own day. it does not attack any race or religoin .. so why is it being attacked?

some people think its a silly and meaningless day/occasion .. waste of money and time, those can simply dismiss it .. but they also shouldnt judge or look down on those who choose to enjoy it.

and there are those who are trying to stop it, on their very weak alligations .. "that it is some how attacking and degrading someone or some 'religoin'!" i ask them to go and try work and solve a bigger problem .. do something with a good cause, quit puting your noses in our lives .. and quit trying to control everything and everyone around you .. we did not vote for you and put you on your chairs so that you can come in and control how were supposed to live and feel. enough has been done already.

instead try and help the poor, try to stop war .. for example, call for support and aid for those suffering in iraq and ghaza .. and many many other countries. Honestly, you are wasting time and effort on trifal issues such as this one, your escaping from your real duties and obligations towards this country and its people.

I believe that this is the real message of love: caring for all the ones you love .. your partner .. family friends and specialy the people who need it the most, are the ones feeling alone, forgotten, naked and unsafe on some other less fortunate lands.

i would like to send a big 'love' you message to all my readers .. and to all the people who are deprived of love.

love u :*

"identity"

how would you want to define ur self?
more importantly, how can u define ur self?
what are the options that were given in our life?
most of the people i meet, ask for my name, my age, my job ..
sometimes .. its my hobbies, my car, my house ...
if we try to go broader here .. you will be defined for
your skin color, your race, your religion .. your political views ...ect

im starting to feel that each person have turned into a checked application.
you fill in the right boxes, and when your done .. you decide if you want to keep that form or not .. and if u need to be incontact with that form again ..
you will have to register it under a number .. or an electronic address.

maybe im not making sense.. but the image im seeing in my head is harsh cold! humans have lost their sense of touch. rarely do you see them welcome eachother with open arms, and a smile.

somehow we have managed with time, money and power to dehumanise people, turned them into forms and lines - territories, materials and positions .. no one cares how your feeling, who you really are from the inside. your surrounded with people but at the same time, deep inside you know your a stranger and alone. for that loss .. people are hating and killing eachother.

Our prophet Mohammed (pbuh) was the only prophet who did not need to make miracles for people to believe in him and his message, he himself was his own miracle.. the holybook (Quraan) he came with, and his heart .. his miracle human heart managed to show people how to live together .. but more importantly .. how to be at peace and love one another.

just a very long bit tangled thought :)
wish everyone is well!