Story Time

i was up all night packing. our car has finally arrived, the ride from karlovy vary to pragues airport .. will take about two hours .. i kept busy eating the most delicious green apple i ever had.
as i looked through the window, i couldn't help but love how the greens wouldn't stop flashing in front of my eyes. i knew how much ill miss this sight, i knew i wasn't supposed to close my eyes, but my head kept getting heavier and so did my eye lids .. i leaned on the window my head against the glass .. wearing my shades, and i slept ...

i woke up two hours later .. i took my purse .. got off the car, on my way to the airport and suddenly i stopped!! you know the gut feeling u have when u feel like u left something behind. i quickly open my purse and i found my sunglasses! :D relief .. they're here ... so i keep on walking .. load the luggage, it took us around two to three hours i cant remember really ... the place was very crowded.
board the plane take a seat ... finally i can sleep now .. then a very cute air hostess comes to me and says "please would you please switch off ur phones" .. "of course" .. so i open my bag, i start looking for my phone .. @@ and i cant find it!!!! its like every girls night mare.
im stuck on an airplane and my phone is somewhere out there!! .. it must of been "it" the thing i left behind in the cab!!! i hated the moment .. felt totally lost and pissed at myself. i was literally strapped on my seat and was not able to do anything about it.

BEST PART

we landed .. as soon as i got home .. i emailed the cabs company asking them if they found a phone .. they replied back "YES WE DID" ;) i thank them, then i asked for their address so i could fedex it back ... and here how it went:

First of all

fedex thank you guys!! u did a GREAT JOB! although it took like two weeks .. but it was job well done .. so thank you :)

i wokeup to see a Fedex package right next to my face! ;p

i was sooooooo happy .. i hurried up to open it .. in side the package was a wrapped box ..

and inside the box was magazine papers! wrapping something else .. lots of magazine papers .. i open it again .. LOL and i was shocked!! @@ hint ... this was during Ramadan ..
the very kind cabs company .. wanted to make sure they deliver the phone safely in one piece and they also wanted to make sure it didn't get bored on the way,"keep it with good company" ;p so they decided to wrap it with a PORN magazine!!!! LOOOOL

*had to censor the pic ;p

every time i remember how it looked i cant stop laughing .. yes .. it was too much .. but then again .. it was for a good cause ;p i don't know .. now i can say that everything in life must have a reason, a good one ;)

moral of the story: try and be creative when u wrap something, oh and always double check after u leave a car or an airplane ;p

love u :* take care.

3edkum embarak :)

wish everyone a happy Eid with family, friends .. and all ur loved ones.

can't let go

clinging and choking ...
hugging u, releasing the pain,
swallowing my tears,
stroking and sobbing ...
soaking ur fears.
the more i try to push it down,
the more it fights to rise up.
i don't want to look at you.
i couldn't bear the feeling,
not being able to see u -and ur kids- when ever i want to.
so i keep pushing it down,
for your sake, not mine.
as it tries to surface up again,
the pain was resting on my bare lungs.
it hurts ... the burn, the ache,
i held it in again.
i was suffocating;
my heart racing,
my blood raging.
my throat turned in to steel,
i can no longer speak or tear.
i was going to throw up my own heart,
as i kept choking on it.

instead, i never got to even say goodbye.


*ps: to my beloved sister, u have no idea how much i will miss u, inshallah we will see you next year .. take good care of yourself and the kids :*

another break

i know i haven't been posting lately, but i can say that; maybe its better not to post at all than post depressing stuff ... im going to be away on my very much needed summer vacation.
hopefully when im back, ill feel fresher and better. i really miss my blog and miss u all.

take good care :*

raping my closet

*Update 3rd Aug: just got my clothes back! :)

my sleeping pattern is a complete mess but i really don't mind .. what i mind is this:
i was in bed 4:00pm someone keeps calling me .. i check the screen barely able to open my eyes and the light flashing in my face .. the caller is someone .. i don't know whats the relation title should be (supposed to be a friend - someone i know - an old woman i met - annoying person been trying to ditch)
so u pick! coz its all of the above .. long story bottom line is shes a a woman in her maybe late 40s or early 50s got kids and all .. got to know me apparently to help her out with shopping for her daughters ... or something else im still not sure .. very very annoying and never takes no for an answer. so i simply decide to press the silent button .. she calls again and again an again 5 missed calls all in like two mins!! so i start to worry thinking maybe its an emergency and i unfortunately pick up!

me: hellooo -very sleepy voice-
her: ooowww ur asleep when did u wake up
me: the phone was ringing and it woke me up.
her: ok i just wanted to ask .. where do u get ur fancy wedding dresses from?
-so i pause and think, theres no way I'm gonna say i got any of them from Kuwait coz shell want to drag me there with her.
me: well my recent dresses are from Italy and London nothing from Kuwait.
her: oh really!! well what can i do i need dresses for my daughter shes invited to a wedding and she needs to find something real quick and i like nothing here in Kuwait.
me: i have no idea im afraid i cant help ..
her: ok is it ok if i drop by today just to see ur clothes! I'm just gonna come to take a look thats all!
me: :S -wtf-
her: is it ok??
me: so u want to take a look at my clothes?
her: yess just a quick look ..
me: yeah sure 5alty 7ayach .. -weirdo-

i hang up go back to sleep was around 4:15 in ten minutes the bell is ringing :S my brother knocks the door and says "theres a woman with her daughter waiting for u outside"
@@

i jump out of the bed freshin up real quick wear what ever i found lying there on the couch pulled my hair up and went to her she was waiting for me in the living room!!

i say hi .. ask her if she needs something to drink she says no thanks I'm fasting!! -fasting and got here in 10 mins! wow!

anyways ill try and make it short some how .. as soon as we sit she asks where are ur dresses??
so i get up .. pissed as hell and ask her to wait.

i go to my closet room, and i start looking at my precious dresses all of them innocently hanging in there! who's gonna be the victim .. so i had to choose .. four dresses at least just to shut her up.. all so nice sleek and simple .. didn't want to give away anything special :p
but all my babies are special :`( anyways i go there
and then she starts examining them:

her: hmmmmm .. is this what u wear?!
me: yes
her: they're soooo simple!! they're soo plain nothing on them!
me: yes that's my style i like keeping it simple.
her: well they don't even show that their designers clothes!
me: well i don't like that either.
her: ok. -totally didn't like them-
me: -YES!- plan worked!

then she says : ok then go get me a big bag so i can take them with me...
me: @@ take them!!! u want to take them??
her: yes .. my daughter will need to see them so that she could choose what she likes best.
me: -look at her daughter- ok which one do u like best?
her daughter: oh no ... im not invited to the wedding its my other sister. shes back home.
me: -!!! omg - so u want all four?
her: yes all four .. shell just want to take alook at them, if she liked any of them i might do the same design for her :S
me: so u will take the design ..
i look down with nothing in mind to say i was speechless .. its too late now. so i walk to my room again and get the dress bags .. i put them all in and give her the bags. she then looks up with a smile on her face and says:

her: what about ur daywear .. whats the latest fashion what have u been wearing?
me: :S -is she fucking kidding me- what do u mean?
her: u know what do u wear when u go out? i want to see.
me: i don't wear anything special all casual and simple really .. some are sport .. nothing special.
her: yes yes bring them i want to see.
me: theres nothing to see .. I've been going with comfortable look lately all H&M style summer clothes plain and simple .. nothing worth showing.
her: ok .. its ok i just want to see ..

i then walk in again and look at my precious closet! i again took the simplest plainest thing i had! like long tank tops .. plaaaain plaaain cotton stuff .. again they were four pieces all the same design.

i come out and show her ... she of course frowned .. since the person i know she exaggerates with her clothes usually.

her: omg ... they're all the same! and they're very very plain!!! soo simple!! nothing really..
me: yes i told u ..
her: i remember i saw u in many occasions wearing very special beautiful designs .. where are they?
me: :s - quick quick think of something - well i don't have them anymore i gave them away
her: u gave them away!!
me: every year i recycle my closet and give away clothes to the poor and some to the maids .. so i don't have what ur talking about.
her: hmmmmm .. ok fine .. ill take these too .. just bring another bag.
me: @@ u want to take them too!! u just said u didn't like them!
her: no its fine .. im sure theyy look nice if worn. and dont worry by tomorrow this time i will send the driver over he will return all ur clothes back!

-F*CK- OK ,,,

so defeated i march in put all in bag and give it to her! she takes them and leave ...
i felt .. violated!! lol i don't know how to describe it .. but someone just came in woke me up took my clothes .. insulted my sense of fashion and took my clothes and left! not to mention lied to me bout the just take a look part!

so there u go .. best part of the story its been FIVE days so far and no driver came over to drop them! i called her three times so far her mobile is always switched off! AND someone else i know said something about her .. having a new tailor and that she plans to have an exhibition in her place!!! so now everything makes sense.
she needed designs to sell .. and i came to mind.

anyways i felt like i needed to share this incident .. since i don't know why these kinda awkward stuff keep happening to moi!

miss u all hope everyone is well.. tip of the day .. keep ur closets locked and when someone asks just say u lost the key :p

pale blue

silence breaks when ever ur here
warmth lingers.
i can hear drops of air sink in my ear
-threatened-
this is not how it will always be.
i might not be there when one day u decide to look up,
or listen ... to me.
when i stare at you and see nothing but you!

lungs warm the air we breathe in,
but ur heart is made of crushed ice


*ps: bout my previous post .. thanks for ur comments .. and for those who asked it has nothing to do with divorce .. 29 years of marriage then she passes away .. he never wanted to take it off .. kept it for four years. its off now because he had to wear a new one.

happy days

mashallah June and July are packed with weddings ... everyone is either dancing .. dressing up or getting hitched! which is depressingly happy ..

coz when u get alot of happiness all at the same time .. seems bit weird ..
but i really did enjoy all of them .. the look on the mothers faces makes it all worth it!
specially when they cry :`)

speaking of emotions .. I've been through the most emotional week in my life, i think .. i needed to see a doctor because its been so emotional .. i cant eat.

one of the things I've seen was .. a heart being pulled out of someones chest .. with out having to touch it or surgically remove it. i have seen him take off his ring .. after 33 yrs of wearing it, after it became part of him, he took it off. u some how wish for that person to be happy inshalah .. some how.

i have also looked into the eyes of someone who's in "pain" .. and they stared back. when u really look into someones eyes u feel they're naked .. u just see whats inside, their head and heart .. when u touch their hands u know its all real. ur hand becomes their safe warm nest .. makes u forget all whats bad in the world, you experience feelings and emotions that are one of gods miracles.

I'm so thankful for the pain i get, the tears that wet my cheeks and burns my eyes, love that warms my heart and joy that brings butterfly's to my tummy.. all so simple but its life's great way of reminding me I'm live .. I'm so living this life .. living it to the core.

a 100 No3iks

*i took this pic in india, so this is an indian redbull :p

1- im very social sometimes i think its a problem how social iam.
2- i have the worst memory on earth.
3- my friends keep giving me or caryying my stuff (keys-walet-glasses-shoppingbags-bag) because i always leave and forget them.
4- im not a food person i dont have a favorite dish.
5- i used to hate jap food, i still do ... maki is different ;)
6- i love eating cereal at anytime of the day.
7- my favorite color is green, and i love green olives :q.
8- i hate sneding smss .. i rather make the call instead.
9- im very honest. when i cant be honest i just shutup.
10- wiritng to me is like breathing. i write even when i know i wont publish i just need to write.

11- im 25 and so happy cant wait to be 26! ;)
12- i quit my job :) only coz i didnt quit on being ambitious
13- i love traveling.
14- i want to learn italian.
15- i want to learn the guitar.
16- i love italain guys.
17- im very slow when i type in arabic.
18- when it comes to love .. i fall and i keep on falling .. to me love shouldnt have a bottom.
19- i dont like kids.
20- i love writing but not so good with reading.

21- i love photography more than reading! i want to become a professional photographer one day.
22- i hate arab advs! theyre very racist and sexist.
23- im a feminist.
24- im petite.
25- when i travel many think im "italain" ;) always makes my day!
26- i want to go to the gym but i always find an excuse not to.
27- i used to want to gain some weight but not anymore.
28- i have a degree in english literature.
29- i want to do my masters in photography. or advs.
30- i want my future son to be just like 7ason bason, doda :)

31- i want my future daughter to be just like me :)
32- i dont know why but i feel sorry for paris hilton!
33- i love LOVE LOVE superman! "mr.roth"
34- i love wirting poetry.
35- india so far is the most alive place i have ever seen.
36- italy is the country i wish i was born in.
37- 300 was the sexiest movie ive ever seen.
38- i have lost my mother when i was 21.
39- im still not over my mom, i dont think ill ever be.
40- my favorite thing to do when travel is take long long random walks.

41- i love shoes. just like most girls do.
42- i think fat ppl should go on a diet.
43- i think smokers should quit.
44- i dont like the fact im writing "i" in each point!
45- i love giving/receving hugs!
46- i love painting too .. i have a general interest in art.
47- my favorite chickflick is "never been kissed"
48- my first chick flick was "untamed heart" cried my eyes out for a week.
49- i love "cold play" and "snow patrol"
50- i watch: sex and the city - greys anatomy - prison break - lost - heroes and jericho - scrubs

51- i cant swim, i saw jaws when i was very young! im still afraid of the water.
52- i used to be disgusted by roaches, not after i have watched "joes apartment" now i just feel sorry for them. theyre just soo ugly!
53- i started blogging out of .. not bordom .. but wanted to piss someone off :p
54- i love nail polish.
55- im 158cm 49kls.
56- i dont find facebook addictive.
57- i have a problem with our traditins, most of them dont make sense at all!! just trying to make life even more harder and miserable for everyone *specialy women.
58- i dont like using capital letters.
59- best time for making calls is when im driving.
60- going to "dans le noir?" was a life changing experiance.

61- meeting up with total strangers and making them friends is a habit of mine.
62- i tend to trust ppl quickly! bad .. very bad.
63- im an aquariuos and i love the number 6.
64- i like to keep my shoes in their boxes. oh and im a size 37 ;p
65- i dont know how to cook! im bad at cooking by nature.
66- i have friends 5 years younger than i and friends 20 years older than i. age to me is just a number. i literaly believe in that.
67- i dont like to rush things.
68- i have a very cold temper, but when im angry .. im scary! i rarely get angry.
69- i used to have a huge crush on eminem, did an entire presentation bout him :p
70- im a huge fan of vampires .. did an entire presentation bout them too! theyre so hot!

71- i dont care if its 2007 or 2700 i dont like gay ppl im not ok with them, its eew!
72- i love it when ppl smile :)
73- when i wakeup in the morning , im usually happy and in a good mood.
74- i love dancing.
75- i dont like "roasting" ppl. its a common thing in kuwait. its not for me. (roasting = `6a`3a6)
76- i dont like it when ppl call other ppl "om flan" or "obo flan"! keep ur first names!
77- i find it very very bad! that some marrried couples dont like holding hands in public! or showing emotions! when ur in love .. ur in love. no place or ppl should matter. as long as ur not taking it too far :p
78- my skin color has been called "caffeoleou" i just love how it sounds ;)
79- my favorite book is million little pieces!
80- im addicted to www.thesuperficial.com im in love with the writers sense of humor he CRACKS! me up!

81- im "addicted" to red bull.
82- my worst habbit is biting my lips.
83- im very picky when it comes to food or drinks.
84- i love having my drinks with no ice, if not then crushed ice, and always add mint!
85- i drink a big cup of black tea everyday!
86- that is why i think im anemic.
87- every two weeks i have to catch a cold or get a soar throat. illnes is becoming a life style of mine.
88- im allergic to our weather ( dust - sun - heat - ac ) i have many allergies im familiar with most alergy pills ( fludrex - zyrtec - claritine - sinus ) non of them work by now!
89- my favotire cologne ( unforgivable ) makes my heart melt! *guys go get it! trust me ;)
90- 29th-june-05 was the happiest day of my life :)

*i cant belive i have 10 points left to write! that was fast!*

91- i hate the number (111) or anynumber with too many (1s) i hate it when the time is 11:11. gives me a very bad feeling.
92- its a dream of mine to one day publish a book :)
93- ppl tell me i look like "jennifer love hewitt - amanda peet and eva green".
94- i dont like change.
95- i like pizza.
96- best fa6ayir is fa6ayir al 3ali :p
97- im very bad at teaching! i hate teaching.
98- i like ppl who look at the eyes when u talk.
99- i would never hang up the phone on anyone no matter what!
100- im a huge fan of wa6aneya and blogger :) i hate word press and mtc ;p

*after reading do i need to mention that im also a bad speller ;p

*ps: mi7sino doda!! HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAY :) 16-6-07 maaan just wanna say .. u are really the best ;)

red sand

sprinkled golden stars
beaded on the dark velvet curtains of night.
rays of silk descends as light, of day
gives life to what is already alive.
water and soil, stone and leaf ...
more alive than some people are.
a smile and a blank face,
nothing to hide,
faces are very real,
their eyes are their souls.
you are the heart of this earth.

*to india

im back

i know i said a week .. and its been a month!
my trip to India was a life changing experience.
but things have happened .. many things .. life is just testing me i guess.
testing how much i can take and how much i can carry.
and in return im testing it as well .. testing how much further it can go.
i have missed blogging i have missed you .. i miss writing.
i think im back .. i wish to be back. hoping everyone is well i know now is finals times.
so good luck with that .. and congrats to those who are done with exams. congrats to those who graduated ;)

love u :*