Monday, March 03, 2008

How far?

when a friend calls, because he/she needs somone to talk to ..
just to talk .. vent .. and repeat what theyve been saying for the past 5 years ..

as a real friend your supposed to listen .. and care ..
simply be there .. but what if that friend of urs wanted more from you ?
what if they wanted advise .. what if they wanted you to pin point exactly what they should do .. regarding a life altering situation ..

as a real friend what should you do?

should you get your self out of it .. pretend that you have no idea, that you dont know what should be done! ..

although in my case .. and for the past 5 years i know exactly what should be done, and i know exactly that its the ONLY way out .. but i never dared even whisper it .. for many reasons ..
one of them is i do not want the responsibility of what may happen later on .. also, i belive people .. mature people should decide such things on their own.

so back to the question .. if a friend asks you what to do .. and insists on it ..
that it comes from you .. as a real true friend .. what should your answer be?

hope all is well :)


Yousef said...

sometimes people know what they want. they only need someone to give the OK. so all you have to do is sense what direction they're leaning on, and give them the push they need :)

eshda3wa said...

u can always voice ur opinion as an OPINION
say if i was in the same situation i would blah blah, but thats just me i dont know if its the rite thing for u. shay haik, ina tell her but dont tell her

Big Pearls said...

If this friend is so dear to you then you should tell her/him how you really feel about it. At the same time you make sure she/he knows that this is ur opinion and u shall not be blamed for it if anything goes wrong.

Reem said...

WOW !!!!

yup that is a very good question

n to me .. I would deffinitly take the responsibility of the consequences if that person is close enough that I cant stand how they r still living in this mess
plus i would make it quite clear to them that this is my advice ,,, but it is your decision to take it, n therefore must be prepared for what might come out of it.

I hope, 4 that person's sake, to finally open they're eyes n do something about they're misery .. 5 years is a sh***y loooooong time

Marzouq said...

I'm a straight shooter, when I ask for advice I take it and think about it. I prefer an honest answer rather then a made up one, but the thing is the person mature enough to act on it or think about it.

If they are going to blame you for their actions, then no don't give your opinion, but it all depends on whether you think your friend can take the honest opinion!

TOUCHE' said...

If a friend can't offer the genuine advice to another friend who desperately needs it then who should that friend turn to for help?

Responsibility comes in the territory of friendship, friendship is a responsibility itself and part of taking that responsibility is offering guidance even if it hasn't been asked. Everyone has many friends, and usually there is this single friend who he turns into to seek advice and find him totally worthy.

Who can possibly offer a better advice than a friend who knows all the insides and outsides, who knows all the characteristics and circumstances and who isn't involved in the matter and thus offer a very unbiased wise advice?
Any other advice won't top that.

TAT said...

I'm usually blunt here and let them hear exactly what they don't want to hear. But thats just me and my friends know it

TP said...

There's a difference between having the urge to say what's the right thing to do and loving her honestly and wanting what's best for her because if you do then you should let her know what's right (even if she doesn't like hearing it) but most importantly making her understand it's HER decision to make and then I suggest you back off after that.

No3iK said...

i like what u said and i believe in it .. but this is not the case .. some things in life .. are too seriuos to be pushed in to. thats why im so afraid.

when i do that, what i get is: "well ur not in my situation.. thats why u dont get it"
7adi mitnarfiza u know!

*big pearls:
i know .. ill try and make sure .. of that .. i have to say something now.

7beebty .. ur the biggest giver i met! and im not surprised thats how u deal with ur lucky friends ..
i wish i was as brave as u are.

in my case if i give an opinion, how can i know the person wont simply act upon it instead of think about it? its risky.. and very complicated.

i was very touched by ur comment, and sure made me feel guilty..
all what u said is true .. i mean i as a person when i feel like i need a friend i wish theyd be honest and responsible. thats why we pick our friends very carefuly.. i know for a fact that having my friends .. is one of the most important and rewarding things in life .. i agree with u 100% and i plan on finaly telling my friend what i think .. im wishing for the best.. thanks for ur clear and honest advise :)

lol i love bluntness ;)

No3iK said...

, *tp:

wisely put ...
my opinion will be very hard and harsh ..
but if were real friends we should be able to go through with this inshallah.

Glitter said...

I would definately voice my opinion, and stress that she/he thinks abt it and only does it if they are convinced of it!

Well said

kella met2a5er said...

I would give them my honest opinion, even if its painful..but ma ajborhom `3a9ob to do should always be na9ee7a la akthar wala aqal.

Ya3ny I would say in the end: ana getlik, o hatha rayee, bas enta adra ebma9la7tik, and no body yegdar yeqarir in the end ella enta 9a7ib elmoshkila.

No3iK said...

*glitter/kila mit2a5er :

thanks guys .. its already done :)
hopefuly things will go smoothly now ..

Anonymous said...

I am too late!! but I hope all went well :)