Wednesday, November 29, 2006


i dont feel like writing apost.
i dont even know what to write about!
i so far wrote three posts: how life is all about give and take, the weather and karma...
then i deleted them all. because i dont feel like writing and im kind of forcing my self to write.
my last post was very depressing, and for that i would like to apologize.
no one was able to figure it out, but it was about cheating.
the third person.. the un known is a "she" that i wish no harm, i just wish "she" would disapear.
but now i feel much better -alhimdilllah-
i was able to wakeup this morning and take a walk on marina beach, where the weather was exquisite! -mashalllah mashallah-
i also interacted with ppl. i was smilling all day actually ;)
i have realized, nothing in this world is worth a moment of u not being able to smile.
seeing total strangers, smiling for me, and i smiling back helped a lot, so now when i do it, its for anyone out there who needed it as much as i did in the past few days.
so, im smiling right now.
and i wish ur doing the same :*
love u all.

*ps: to my best friend "f" 7 bebty i want you to know, we`re here for u, i know its hard, but well make it easier inshallah. a7ibich :*
*pps: thanks for ur comments and support! they mean the world :*

enjoy ur weekend! ;)

Monday, November 27, 2006

chest pain

how can a total stranger, cause so much pain?
someone that doesn't even know you exist,
comes in between!
a thing, a third person, that becomes as alive as you are.
you cannot confront or give your back to.
with its haunting intensity, everywhere.
I hug the pain, I hug my pain.
maybe with time, pain will fall in love with me.
and gentler, it may want to be.

im so tired

*ps: my fav cereal is honey nut Cheerios ...whats urs?

Sunday, November 26, 2006

softest smile

when i lay there
when your being all of that!
i stop and think;
of you, your voice,
and ideas.
your an inspiration.
warm and gentle-

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Thingeyat No3ik 4

Thingy 1:
the beauty and warmth of her work.
she was such patient person, all hand made quilts and stitched pictures .
tislam eedich mom :*
they look amazing in frames now! just like u wanted them.

Thingy 2:
right infront of al9abri baqala -my fav baaqala- on ur way out of salmiya
scary i know!!! kinda freaky to see.
the thought that its just a toy! in other countries this could be a real baby.

Thingy 3:
my new recp, head phones, msn, instyle mag with my beautiful scarlett johanson, red bull + green olives YUM YUM!

Thingy 4:
truth or dare! and so we dared my cousin to go and knock on the door of the very famous haunted house!!!
and she did , lol shes the one behind the grey box :p hehehehehe i did that for safety reasons.
not to mention the house is haunted FOR REAL!!
Thingy 5:
7ooori taking a huge chunk of choc!!
thanks youpi :**

Thingy 6:
a horrific attempt to cook, is french toasT considered cooking?
anyways i was trying to do my own breakfast, i was like, ok ill do it myself.
and i also tried to do the toast that V in V for vendetta did for natali portman :p
i was so hungry i actually took a bite! only the edge of it!! :S u dont wanna know what happened next.
Thingy 7:
aaawwww!! seeing them broke my heart! but even barbies have changed
theyre not as good as the old ones :`( i miss mine.

Thingy 8:
one word: FUN!

Thingy 9:

save the best for last like always my hunky bunky
this ons is dedicated to my lovely sis :** i love u. and i know ull love me even more now ;)
aaaawwwwwww! :)

thats all ppl, hope u all have a nice weekend

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


you have left
but i have stayed,
and so did the sun.
it is never dark.
never again will i drink,
whats not mine.
wine, of light and power-
i am with my own.
as difficult or hopeless,
dont come around.
leave! "i may bite"...
and so u left,
and i have stayed.

it is my ground.

*ps: happy birthday tinka :*** love u girl ;)
*pps: i watched "
Kate and Leopold" with my sis :`( i want all of that! a beautiful movie!
MEN: plz plz plz! watch it and learn!!!

Friday, November 17, 2006

broken glass

bleeding and shattering-
all I am is a breakdown.
and you call this a relationship!

"let go of my hair"...

*ps: ppl from now i tell u, this is fictional it has nothing to do with me so dont worry :p
*pps: i loved all the pics u sent me! its amazing i had a great time really! for those of u who didnt send their pics yet .. the gallery is always open ;)

Monday, November 13, 2006

show me YOU

this is awesome ;) ok so here it goes :
create ur own YOU. ur own southpark version! i had fun
IT MUST LOOK LIKE YOU !! ok .. the whole point is to try and make it look like ur self.
there are small details that you can use. try and be creative with that. again i will be posting all works of art in our gallery:
where all bloggers, even non bloggers, can see eachothers work.
one more thing, do ur work of art and "press on the button print screen in ur keyboard", then open a paint program and select paste, finally save and send it to me:
i will be waiting for u ;)
special thanks to Fedo its his tag ;)

Again, what im doing here is not a tag, its merely fun and sharing is caring :)
and for those of you who know me.. do u think i did a good job ? ;p

Saturday, November 11, 2006


she packed her things immediately after she heard the news ..
she left her responsibilities, her family, her room and her house she just left.
and came to me.

she said: "i wont leave u when ur in this shape"
i laughed: "what shape? my mother just died! so what? im fine.. just go"
but she wouldn't .. she kept there by my side, made sure i slept and ate.
she stayed for three months!

we've been friends since 1988.
we did everything together.
she was that friend who u could stay with,
and do absolutely nothing and not even say a word.
just be there.

we then started growing,
we grew, we shaped ourselves.
as our personalities were stabling...
we were different, we are different.
she is my best friend, she is my BEST friend.
we were so different that even strangers could notice it.

im ok with difference, difference doesn't mean anything to me.
it doesn't threatens me, or bothers me.
one thing does...
she never said it, but i left with out even knowing
or plan on leaving.
i saw it in her eyes, "judgment"

she didn't like what she was seeing.
she didn't like what she was hearing,
i could feel her disappointment, i could sense her wishes.
she wished, i would change.

that is when i realized, different means apart.
we didn't just grow, we didn't just mature.
we grew apart. we landed on different grounds.
i haven't spoken to her, not in ramadan, eid or her birthday
we just stopped! as if we didn't exist.

all of this runs through my head every single night.
our memories are my new pillow.
sleepless. with guilt, anger and regret.
best friends that dont exist. but are best friends whether they like it or not.
you was, are and will always be my best friend on earth.
ur not just my best friend, ur a TRUE friend, and i love u.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

standing on my toes

yes, i can stand
i can reach
i can leap,
there for i exist.

i whisper to the wind,
the wind whispers back!
we know each others secrets.
the wind once told me,
when it blows, it can feel my core.
there for i live.

i expect to live some more.
i hurt, i need to cry even more.
i want, i crave to imagine much more.
i smile, i want to feel eternity.
there for i not only exist,
but i conquer.

"im ambitious"

Monday, November 06, 2006

Huge dissapointment..!!

ok first off, for u guys who think im attacking kuwait.. im not ..

this is out of personal experiance .. and i simply need to let it out.. hope it reaches somewhere.
hope i can do anything about it .. but this time, its really not in my hand. wishing it reaches someone who can do anything about it.

8am i wakeup and call my friend:
"wakeup, yalah in an hour inshalah we need to go out"

both planned on job hunting in several places, all private companies.
i will name some of the places we went to:
- burg ahmad - burg al awadhhi -alraya ... etc

we hit every button, we tried every floor, we knocked on doors .. it took us 6 hours.
we were stressed and tired but we were also determined. now to the ugly part:

both of us smiling at the secretary, i will not mention any nationalities, but shes a non-kuwaiti.
us: hello, where can we find the human resources please.
she: - ignoring us working on her computer-
me: excuse me, wheres the human resources??!
she: - sick look on her face - your kuwaitis?
me: Yes.
she: we dont have any job opennings - looks away -
me: what! ur a new company, and u dont have any job openings? wheres ur supervisor?
she: hes not here ..
me: - leaves her office looking for him, and yes he was right there in his office - he greats us, and takes our CVs and says that we shall get a call from him soon -

we both went in, walked to the human resources.
me: do u have any job openings?
HR: yes we do, do u have your CV?
me: - hands her my cv -
my friend: - hands her her cv -
HR: - pushes my friends cv wih her hand and says - SORRY, only mit7agbat (women who wear a head scarf)

we both appllied in a well known company and as we were leaving to the elevator, a kuwaiti guy asks us to wait for him.
man: hello
me and my friend: hala
man: haa, i see u've been visiting our company?
my friend: yes.
man: what were u doing?
my friend: were applying for jobs.
man: are u colleg graduates?
me: - is he having the interview in the elivator-!!!
my friend: yes.
man: whats your majors?
- we both tell him our majors-
man: and u want a job in this company?
my friend: yes!
man: -strange look on his face- and ur both kuwaitis..!?
us: Yes!
he then frowned, got out of the elevator!! just like that! no good luck no good bye.. as if he was disgusted.

i shall not continue, i will stop till here, i just wanted to point out, how difficult it is specialy for kuwaitis to find a job, in their own country! how hard most companies are making it on us.
i would like to comment on each case, but ill leave that to you.

ALZIBDA: we were rejected in most cases coz we were:
- kuwaitis
- non mut,hajba
- female
- we dont have "wastta"

and I KNOW there are good kuwaiti companies around, so if there is TELL ME where can i find them ;)

ps: congratulations, on SADDAM'S excution by hanging!! woohoooooo b*ch is going down FINALLY!

Thursday, November 02, 2006

This is for every Q8i and Q8iya

*the staring:
why do kuwaitis stare! why do we go (5izni wa5izik) look in public places?
why do girls sometimes give you the (i hate u) look! for no reason!!
ok if a girl was checking me out, id be flattered.. but the (i hate u) look! that i dont get.
why is it when we smile (simply an innocent bright beautiful smile) we get the (whats wrong with u) look??
why is it when someone is sitting sipping coffee in the corner of a coffee shop all alone, reading something or not? why do people give that person (oh u poor thing) look?
why do people judge other people all the time, they have that (im judging you right now) look?
why is it when a cute couple are in love, holding hands, or just being in love, people give them the (your pathetic) look?
the most famous look, specially amongst girls is the (i just smelled something bad) look!
i swear! even if you were beautiful, pretty, it makes u look ugly.
this is cheesy but its true: the most beautiful thing anyone could wear is a - Smile :D -

the big question is? where all of this going?
i think many kuwaitis are ( stiff ) they try an act walk and look in a way that is in no way natural. it would be for everyone`s sake to simply act natural. do not try and fit in a certain cast. just be your self, smile when you feel like it, say hi and hello, good morning to strangers if you pass by! its normal, its human, everyone does it. just act more alive. make living in this heat easier.

i know i have said this before, instead of shaking hands... just hug :) i love hugs ... actually i need a hug right now :( -sniff sniff-

a big (****) YOU! to Kuwait University...
this goes to my best friend dalol i love u girl :*
"u will come back and you will get things done, change this perverted absurd thinking we have!! this is INSANE! Pornotholgy!! so thats what ive been studying all this time!

I have started this post with a "why" but, i dont want the answer... i know we have issues in this country, for many reasons..i just want it to end in someway .. someday inshalah it will.

*inspired by todays starbucks + my late call with digma :** love u