Sunday, September 14, 2008
Almost everyone been calling me or coming over to see how im doing .. ( which is so nice ) but also most of them wanted to give me Great advice! (according to them)
Some advice were ok, and some were heh.. but .. no one could ever top this one:
I got a phone call from a friend on a Saturday,
F: Zanooooooooob .. dear how are u and hows the baby doing???
Z: alhimdellah were doing fine .. making it day by day .. :)
F: so when can we go out??
Z: yeah i really want to go out .. but i think its still too soon to leave 3abood u know .. since im the only one taking care of him and he needs me to feed him every two hours.
F: what about ur Khadama? (maid)
Z: what about her?
F: Let her take care of him for two hours!
Z: Hes just a new born! i cant let some stranger take care of him .. plus im his mother! im here and free why would i do that?
F: YAL MAYNOOOOONA!!! (ur insane!) you must let her hold him, change him, and pump some milk and let her feed him .. let her get used to doing all of these things from now when hes small, so that it will be very easy for her when hes older. Remember even when he cries .. let her walk with him till he stops crying with her .. make sure its with her ..
Z: @@ (no comment!)
F: so that when he he cries .. all you have to do is give him to her, he will stop crying my dear! wa7da b wa7da! ask me ;)
Z: @@ aha ..
F: plus let him sleep with her so that he will get used to her smell from now!
Z:: @@ uhhmmm ..
F: if you do all of this trust me you will be back to ur normal life in no time!! you will go out and everything .. u wont even remember you became a mother .. because you will know he is safe back home .. your life will be normal in no time.
Z: ok dear .. thanks for calling i really have to go now...!
SO BEING A MOTHER IS NOT NORMAL!!! i dont know whether to laugh or cry! this was so strange to me .. i dont know how some people think .. i really didnt care .. i didnt listen to a word she said .. i would have corrected her, but since i know the PERSON she is .. those 100% right all the time people .. i didnt want to waist my time on the phone arguing with her .. what really broke me .. was her (kid) who was a baby 3 years ago, who according to her does not even know the smell of his own mother :`(
This kind of new fashionable mothers is being popular amongst kuwaitis .. i really wish they would know that not being with your baby (newborn!) will kill the bond you will have with your kids .. for ever .. and it is unrepairable. With each child you only get to have one chance.. because they grow up so fast :) so don't miss it.
* Hope everyone is well ..
thanks for all ur prev emails .. im feeling super! drinking lots and lots of water .. down side of all this is that im not fasting this month :( allah e3eni 3l dain :p
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Delicately realistic asked how i was doing through a message on facebook, this was my reply to her:
"i went to dar alshifa to see dr.hisham al5aya6 i dont know if u know him, he used to work in ebin seena .. hes a great doctor .. wayid he was nice o raya7ny
he did a physical test and asked me a lot of detailed questions .. family history and wanted to know exactly what happened.
he then told me i dont need an MRI or MRV .. he thinks is psychological.
postpartum depression. plus an anxiety attack. i never heard of this..
i mean anyone giving birth then numbing up .. but he thinks its the reason.
he thinks it will fade away in a week .. if it didnt he said he might refer me to a therapist .. since he also learned bout my mothers passing away.. he thinks i maybe still have bottled up feelings.
bs other than that .. al7imdellah im feeling better .. numbness comes and goes.. yesterday it came back to my entire left side again .. so im still giving it time hoping it will leave me alone soon :) coz it is a very bad feeling u know .. i feel like i dont exist .. when u cant feel the sensation of touch .. sub7an allah."
i should also add that this isnt a common thing after birth, i dont want to scare you :p it happened for so many reasons; in my case .. im not eating well, im breastfeeding, im sleep deprived, and im losing weight add to that im constantly worried .. and miss my mom all the time. Im physically and emotionally over working my self, the doctor explained it: as my brain shutting off my body so it would force me to have some time off.
After knowing all of this inshallah ill be better in no time.
ill be leaving you the info i worked hard to get, i made so many phone calls just to find the best of the best .. inshalah no one will have to see someone like the ER doctor ! who threw diagnosis so easily in my face like i was a case not a person.
-Dr. Asmahan - Neurologist
works at Ebinseena, and has her private Clinic. #5628756
-Dr. Hisham Alkhayat - Neurologist
Works at Ebinseena and Dar Alshifa Hospital #2626601
-To have an MRI in private hospitals, you can do it on the same day, or the next.
it cost around 140kd per part.
*Wishing no one will ever need the above numbers.
all the best for everyone :*
Friday, September 05, 2008
last nite, Thursday @ 3:00am
My entire left face went numb starting with my left eyelid .. i pinch my cheeks and i felt only pressure on my muscle .. not the skin!
15 mins later .. my left arm is numb .. 10 mins later .. my left leg is numb ..
it was like a ghost crawling inside my skin and numbing it .. i was not able to feel any touch but only pressure! first thought came to my head is that i maybe was getting paralyzed.
i started to freak out, as it was about 4:15am .. little abdullah is asleep and so is my husband .. i walk to the bedroom .. almost dragging my heavy weak left side with me ..
reading Quraan on my self and massaging my leg .. hoping ill be getting any sensation .. anytime soon.
instead .. the left side of my brain starts to numb as well.. and it gets heavier than the right side.
that is when i woke up my hub.. asked him to take me to the hospital .. he got ready and we left. ..on the way, we decided to go to Government hosp since this seemed to be a serious case! and little did we know!
we arrive at 5am and boy was Mubarak hospital crowded! we take a number thinking that these people knew what waiting for ur turn meant! they just stood there by the door pushing .. who ever gets in first .. was his turn :s we just kept waiting .. as i wait .. with a numb left side .. my right side starts little by little to numb as well .. i literally thought i was dying .. i started saying "al shahadatain" .. with content .. thoughts and memories .. rushing and flashing .. i was smiling, thinking i would miss my little one grow up .. as i waited .. the darkest and brightest of thoughts came to me .. that is one suddenly i was called in to the room..
i sat there .. on a black leather chair .. doctor looked at me as i was pretending to have an urgent reason to be in the ER .. since i wasnt moaning with pain or was on a wheel chair .. i was simply sitting .. right in front of him, able to walk my self in to the room..
i : i cant feel my body .. im going numb.
he sends me immediately for tests: temp, blood sugar and blood pressure..all came back normal.
he then looks at me and
says: everything is fine, you could be having a censure ,, but ur only 26 so its very unlikely .. or you maybe have MS. i cant do anything for you now .. im not a neurologist .. so go back home sleep and have some water! this could be nothing .. but i cant tell you anything for sure.
LOL after his diagnosis i sure will be able to sleep!
with a complete shock on my face i leave .. husband trying to calm me down "everything is going to be ok!" that is when u know something is definitely wrong .. when ur loved one .. with that look on his face .. tries to tell u that everything will be fine.
i smile back: lets just go home ..
i go give 3bod a kiss and try to sleep.. imagine sleeping on ur bed .. with out being able to feel the sheets against ur body .. entire body ..
the only way to make sure i dont have MS is to make an MRI to make an MRI ill have to be on a waiting list .. that if im lucky will take 3 MONTHS!
im getting tired .. ill continue this post later .. needless to say .. i really need ur prayers .. tc all :*
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
if said my life have changed 100% .. it would be an understatement...
is it good change? .. i really dont know .. is it change that i dont like? .. of course not..'
i love spending all my time with little 3bod .. but i also miss (me)
im simply trying to get used to this .. "my new life" .. a third person in the family..
hes one tiny person .. but he sure is A LOT of work!
i sleep 4 hours in total .. and no, not 4 hours straight!! never straight ..
before i got pregnant i weighed 52kilos .. now im 49!
its just constant constant work.
im so tired .. been doing this all on my own ..
its been 5 yrs since i lost mom .. i have never missed her like i miss her right now!
she would have made things MUCH easier .. on my little new family.
My husband has been a champ .. im so proud of him .. proud of what hes trying to do .. all the books hes reading .. all the diapers he changed so far, so that ill get a 10 minute nap ..
hes my real superman :**
anyways i missed my blog and i missed u all .. i think ill be away for a while .. because i really dont have time to blog or read other blogs .. wishing everyone is well ..
RAMADAN krem to all :****