happy

fluttering beats ..
that tickles the heart..
draws a smile,
that you could taste.
lifts weights off my years,
upturns the corners of my mouth
again, and again.
i close my eyes...
and try to stop.

-buticant-
:)

a strange story worth telling (or thats what ive been told) :p

since Halloween is on the way - u might be up for kind of a scary story :p

when we moved in our lovely complex.. we loved everything about it but one thing, we had to endure waking up early in soo many mornings and rush out of our apartments coz of (false fire alarms!) they would happen maybe once or twice a month! when ever ppl evacuate and wait for the green light to go back in, what would happen is we would all get to meet some new ppl and socialize in our pajamas :p (cute!)

one day while were in the lobby socializing and waiting .. i met an old old lady. in her maybe mid 60s, she kept talking on how she had to leave new york and move up here coz she lost ALL her fortune to the very famous ponzi scheme!! i felt so sorry for her .. she also mentioned that after she lost her money her family (two daughters) havent been so close to her anymore!! i know its terrible .. they kind of lost respect for her .. thats what she thinks anyways. and her husband is deceased, so she was living all alone poor thing :( she really broke my heart and i have decided to drop by her place from time to time just to check on her. she lived right down the hall, she would be sooooo happy everytime i did, she also adores abdullah .. all we would talk about is (how she lost all her money) again and again!

my reply would be the typical Muslim reply (its ok! its just money, most important thing is that you have got your health, and your family, rest will get better with time u have to be patient and always thank God no matter how bad things get, its just a test)

she kept reminding me shes Jewish .. and i kept reminding her we all have a God. and the system works just the same! :p

soooooooo this was just an introduction to what happened!! LOL bear with me please :)

on Valentines day, i prepared some cute red goody bags for aboods gymboree classmates, and i have decided to save one for her, placed it on her door mat, since she was out. later on the day, as i was working and abood is just following me around the place; the door bell rang .. i looked through the magic eye and there she was!! :S

i gasped!! held my breath and for a second was thinking if i should just ignore her and pretend to be out, but 3boods playing around and she definitely heard him .. i slightly opened the door and there she was:

(her blond whitish thin hair was all messed up mostly upwards and the rest was all over her face, her face was swollen, the entire right side was bruised, she had a BLACK eye! she couldn't even open her eye. she was only wearing a pajama top (black satin with buttons) .. that was unbuttoned!! she only buttoned the middle one.. but right under that button popped her entire (big) belly!! completely out there! and the scary part .. NO BOTTOMS! .. no nothing .. the pajama top reached exactly to her (****) thank God! she had no shoes on or even socks!! she was BARE FOOT!!!! and it was FREEEEEEZING COLD!! that day. her legs were BLUE!! and the scarier part .. she was holding the box of chocolates i left her, in one hand and in the other she was stuffing her mouth with chocolates!! munching with her mouth open .. all chocolate inside and out!!! she said with a horrifyingly scary crazy tone (THANK YOU FOR THE CHOCOLATES!)

i swear i felt like i was in a horror movie at that moment! i could hear thunder and rain in the back of my head lol i couldnt believe that what i was seeing was real x/

i just wanted to run!!! she looked soooooooooooo creepy .. i had no idea what to do .. i just said "your welcome" and then pushed the door .. she reached out and pushed it back!!! :S "can i come in!!" she said .... completely horrified i replied "yes."

so as i mentioned earlier, we have just moved in at the time .. and our living room; our new very nice living room just arrived two days ago! she marched right in and sat on the large sofa!!!!! with no underwear on!!!!! all i could think of was (EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW) and (omg omg omg!!!)

she sat there like everything was fine and normal .. kept talking about the ponzi scheme again and how she lost all her money and how she misses newyork!! all i could think of at that moment was two things:

(get off the sofa) and (i hope hub doesnt come home and see this (since hes a clean freak!)

oh and since shes with no underwear too!! :/

as i was still in complete horror and as she was still sitting there yapping .. guess what happened .. the door opened! and yes, it was hub!

he came in and his eyes almost popped, his face flushed red and immediately looked away!! i could see the anger he was in .. he said hi and went to his office! after he left ..she kept asking when is he coming back coz she wanted to chat with him! (seriously) :S
i kept telling her he wont coz hes busy .. she kept on waiting for him.. 10 mins later she decided to finally leave us alone.

after she did .. i swear to God the sofa SMELLED!!! IT REEKED! i have no idea what it was but it was disgusting!!!! hub asked me to get rid of the living room on the same day! he did not want to even look at it .. it was sold on craiglist 10 minutes after i posted it!! LOL I sold a brand new living room set for 400$ LOL cheap!!! no one even asked why?! :p the buyers kept pouring in! but to have a clear conscious i washed it very well and sanitized it with antibacterial sprays and everything you could imagine. it was good as new .. we were just stuck with the image! :p
needless to say that was also the end of our friendship :( been avoiding her ever since.

anyways .. thats one story for u .. lol theres a lot in store!

u gotta love LA! best ppl ever :p

take cares :*

silence

is pretty very sad.

silence is never a good thing;
silence is hate,
silence is loneliness,
silence is cold,
silence is still,
silence is unpredictable,
silence is heartless,
silence is dark,

actually, silence is death.
so, speak!

Sep

this month .. has so many occasions that are of importance to my life ..
my mothers passing away .. my anniversary .. and some more ..

i dont know what to make of it .. each september i become numb and some what confused.
i dont know what to do .. its a month where all ration stops to exist in my head.
i just wait for it to pass .. hoping that October brings back some normalcy to my daily life.
some quite thoughts .. and finally a decent amount of sleep.

im back in LA btw ..
this time things went smoother than before .. i missed it soo much
my other home .. and my new lovely friends..
was deffinately a unique experience for me to spend ramadan here, i loved it!
al7imdelllah .. life is still good isnt it :)

everyone stay safe please..
love ur loved ones :*

to smile again

it ended just like it started,

with a deep breath.

a lavender hug that will always;

remind me to sleep,

with a smile on my face.

words, sounds, and closed eyes

that gave more life to life;

more sense to touch,

more heat to warmth,

and more hope to faith.

love can be dimmed,

but is never gone or dead.

sealed with a promise,

to spread its wings

and live

Kuwait (7bebty)

Hi,
im baaaaaack! ;)
ive been in Kuwai for more than a month .. and its just unbelievable how much has changed in just 7 months!
im still trying to get used to some of the changes .. some changes were physical and some were emotional. Some people are not the same, some places dont feel the same.

i dont know how to describe it .. its just strange .. makes me wonder how will i feel after coming back in two years!

i missed this place so much .. i dont mind the bad weather, i dont mind the drama ive been getting .. im just happy im here .. home.

will be leaving again late Aug .. so im trying to enjoy it as much as i can before its too late.
strange thing is .. i also miss my other new home in LA!
dont know how will i deal with leaving it permanently after were done. its going to be very sad .. i get attached so very quickly.

before i go wish me luck .. im vaccinating 3bood today (his one yeard vaccine!) yes hes one now :)
and also i have joined Pilates and more! they are simply the best gym i have ever tried in kuwait.
www.pilatesandmoreq8.com


hope evryone is well ..
love u guys ..

What next...?!

so while were here .. worrying over this great SWINE flu! and the Mosquito West Nile Virus ..
all in California!! plus an earth quake just hit Mexico :/ like can it get any worse! .. answer is:YES!

i keep getting these phone cals from Telemarketers!!!!
people they are beyond annoying .. i mean there should be a nother word .. annoying seems so nice and sweet .. i dont know how to describe them .. theyre like bullies ..
i keep teling them: thank you im not interested!
NO YOU ARE INTERESTED AND YOU WILL LISTEN TO THE OFFER!

i swear this is how they speak ..

last call i got .. i was like DO NOT CALL THIS NUMBER AGAIN!! PLZZZZZZZ dont call
hes like : YOU WILL GET THE PACKAGE IM SELLING YOU, IF YOU DONT WE WILL CHARGE YOU 500 DOLLARS I ALREADY HAVE YOUR CARD INFORMATION!
and he hung up on me!!

a telemarketer hangs up on his customer after threatening him! LOL

wallah i have no idea whats going on here .. i of course started with ignoring them .. then hanging up on them .. what they do is they call you more and more each time .. during the day and night ..
they leave u voice mail .. they call constantly to the point where i cant make a phone call when i want to!!

so heres a thank you God list:
Thank God for kuwait .. thank God that al Islam 7aram al PIGS! thank God we dont have earthquakes in kuwait. thank God there are no Telemarketers in kuwait, Thank God our innocent mosquitoes in kuwait are harmless all they do is bite .. and leave you with a red spot .. cute!

so now .. im worried over all these dangers that i feel like im surrounded with ..
i literally feel like "THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME!"
i want to be in kuwait sooooooooooooooooooooo badly .. inshallah inshalllah nothing bad happens .. golo ameeen ..

miss u and my blog soooooo much..

ps. cant believe 3bood will turn 1 in two months!! wow!
pps. the top pic has nothing to do with the post.

kind of complicated ...

when one says .. they will not change ..
they wont let growing up change who they are from the inside ..
i know people who made such a promise to them selves ..
they actually believe its very important for them not to change, because they have reached a level of comfort with who they've become .. changing to them would mean losing their real identity.

someone told me; ppl who promise not to change are in denial .. cause change will happen whether they like it or not .. they will have to break. they shouldn't make such a promise because its not for them to keep. they must .. HAVE to change one day .. and when that day comes .. theyll still be in denial and just wont admit it. they will convince them selves that the new found them was there all the time, when its not the case.

i personally believe when some one doesn't want to change, they can try their best to be who they are .. do/ say what is normally said and done no matter who they're with and no matter what life brings to their plate.
i believe its a subconscious decision, that each of us make. depending on how comfortable you are with ur inner "self". it also about how how content you are on where your at. i think when your always clear about things in your life, when your honest with your self .. you can set a goal (beginning and end), that is when a clear line will appear .. and that line is you, its the core of who you are. at the end our lives revolve around what we want in life, and what we achieve. and that is who we become.

i know this may not make any sense ..
in my head its making perfect sense right now .. and im writing it as it is ..

bottom line .. ive been through "sh*t" and i dont believe i have changed..
yes i have developed in so many things, i survived and got back up, i have matured .. i have learned and gained so much.. but that doesnt mean that my core have changed. its light did get brighter, reached some other areas that weren't as visible before .. but im still just me.
i still see me on that line .. and im not going any where ..

when people i know .. give up on their original lines and shift .. it seems unfair,
because "life" is no excuse for such loss.

been long :)

our view

it feels like forever! since i last blogged ..

i really cannot begin to explain how busy life is here in LA ..
its wonderful .. i love how busy im .. i love that im spending almost each minute with things that matter .. to me and the ppl i love.

*quick updates:
we got a new car ..
we moved into a really nice apartment .. great view ;)
we enrolled little boodi into this great semi nursery/school to develop baby skills ..
called Gymboree .. i really wish they would open a branch in kuwait. i really loved the place. had a great time there ..

what else .. i got me the best hair cut ever! in love with my hair .. u know when u get a new hair cut for almost a week and u just keep playing with it .. yeah im still in that phase.
oh and i almost forgot!! i became a BLACKBERRY person! i never was into big complicated phones .. but this is different! i mean everyone and everything i need is in it ;) so in love with it..
and may i add .. its HOT pink ;)

i heard that the weather in kuwait is really bad! i remmeber the last time it got this bad i was at work .. suddenly everything was orange! very scary! now my friends are telling me its not orange .. more like red! :s i really think when the weather gets this bad .. govermnet should issue an official day/days off.

were sill working on the apartment .. not completely settled in .. we still need to buy lots of furniture, lot of painting to do .. ill make sure we have fun in the process of it all ;)
i havent been going out much .. yet! but so far my fav two places are The Grove and Target :*

the grove

also im enjoying the TV here! my show list is:
- LOST
- Desperate housewives
- Gossip Girl
- Heroes
- Greys anatomy
- The office
- Scrubs

the new shows im watching are:
- US of Tara
- Secret Diaries
- Big love

i know its a huge list .. but with DVR .. i can manage all of them ;)

happy valentines ;)
hope everyone is well ..
i really miss each and everyone of u :)

Day one

i can officially say that 31st of Dec 2008 has been literally the longest day in my life!
10am was my flight from Kuwait, add to it 14 hours flight to New York, then a wait of 4 hours in JFK, then 6 hours on Delta, we finally arrive to LA @10pm, that gave us 2 more hours till midnight! .. that makes it a total of 36 hours in one day!! LOL it felt like i was running away from 2009 :p

anyways so flights weren't as difficult as i expected .. Aboodi was a darling, he wanted to play, jump most of the time .. and be carried up while being walked around the cabin .. i refused to give him any of the meds that would make him sleep, im glad i did that because it wasnt that bad :) we really got to enjoy our time together .. part of it meant spending time in the bathroom where we played peekaboo with the mirror ;p

it was snowing in New York .. the sight was beyond beautiful! it almost brought me to tears.
LA was just as crazy as i pictured it to be! parties and beats all over the place. were staying in a hotel for now untill we settle in. when i wokeup the next day, i opened the window and my eyes almost popped @@ when i saw the HUGE Holly Wood sign! it was sureal to see it in life size! ;)
back to the partying, its funny, and very un expected .. but for now it seems that the most played beat is the "YES WE CAN" ... people are very hopeful here.

anyways .. we still have a lot of work a head of us .. weve got appointments to check out some of the places (apartments) we contacted online .. buy a car, get furniture and actually live there .. all in one week!

hope everyone had a blast with their loved ones :*
love u all.