New (Home)

moving to "a new place| .. cannot be called "home| right now cause we two are total strangers at the moment, if not enemies. i feel strange and angry - frustrated.. i miss my old place, i miss my family.. im trying really hard to cope and be friendly.. but its just soo hard..

im being mean to my own place .. but may i add, that my place is also not being so nice! driving me crazy! still a million things to decide on, the to do list keeps getting longer, i feel like its gonna take me for ever to have this place done as i want it to be.

the good thing is, i know the kids love it! theyre soo excited keep running in the hallways screaming, enjoying the view and yelling (car) when ever they see one :)

my plan is to fill the walls with family photos, im choosing warmth and comfort over fancy shmancy.. i want this place to have all the elements of (coziness) but with an artsy umph as well. thats the plan.. hoping when i achieve that ill maybe start to love it and forgive it for having me leave my old place. where my dear family and memories are. its heart breaking.. but thats life and things have to change, grow and move on.. theres no stopping it.

al7imdellah 3la kil 7aal..

before this year ends .. want to wish u a better year to come inshallah.. with fresh new starts and nothing but happy and good news yarab! stay safe and healthy :*

no sleep

i cant sleep.. aboodi has an ear infection and he should sleep in a sitting position for his ear pain to be "bearable" poor little thing..
its funny when i think about this blog .. i had it before having my own kids .. and i have always loved it soo much .. its now 6 years old! that is just something isnt it! it feels like my baby, whos all grownup.. its taking care of its self .. and im not around anymore.

ok now i sound like a horrible mother! lol who leaves her 6 year old kid all alone like that?

so anyways.. im writing this for my baby blog .. i miss u .. wish times were like they used to be before .. our old bloggers, talented writers.. beautiful posts to read .. the great friends we made.. al7imdellah untill this day were in touch.. u truly did change my life :*

"blogs changed lives".. u can quote me on that! it is soo true.. thats how powerful they used to be. a shout out to any of my old readers, bloggers .. most of u deleted ur pages with nothing to be traced.. bs i can remember ur posts like ive just read them today.. thank u for all the priceless memories!

take care guys!

My Kuwait

i have been wanting to post for a very long time now , lack of both free time and inspiration were behind this long gap.

what can i say about the events happenning in my beloved country .. other than "interesting"

i open the news papers only to read how hypocritical some people "running" this country are.

scary to see how they dont have set morals or values, keeps changing according to who theyre dealing with and where they are?

very sad and scary at the same time.. i feel afraid because there is no sense of security anymore. i cannot assure my kids they will growup living in the same loving enviroment and atmosphere mommy and daddy enjoyed so very well! im 29 years old now .. i remember nothing but joy and love we had to our homes, schools and country.. and when i say country im talking about its government and prince. we are truly blessed . youd think after all the world revolutions.. and deaths and blood spill.. that the people here would look up and thank Allah for having such a peaceful country and governemnt.. no place is perfect and we do have flaws.. but we should always be thankful that the most important things are a given in this place .. sense of security and safety.. the law.. the people. we have a just system, we have jobs, we have homes.. we have a ruling family that treats us like family. alf al7imdellah.

i wish for my kids to growup under their care just like we all did .. i wish that people will open their eyes and stop being greedy. fix whats wrong.. starting with them selves. the ironic thing is how the people behinf all this "e9laa7" movement are the most corrupt! theyve been causing nothing but chaos to almost everyone.

all of this .. been blocking my brain from writing about the good and beautiful things. i never liked politics. but when its staring me in the face everydy.. as if its sitting on my chest.. stoping me from enojoying each and everyday that passes .. i had no choice but to let it out.. please leave us .. i miss the old days.. i miss my kuwait.

hope everyone is well.

the True grgai3an

grgai3an is one of the most beautiful traditions we have in islam.. sadly through out the years (specialy the last 10) its been turned into a showoff fest! people no longer do it, instead they simply dress up for it and thats all!.. instead they spend a fortune on creating the weirdest and the most none relevant giveaways as "grgai3an" which again .. has nothing to do with the tradition it self .. every year.. less and less number of kids rang our door bell for grgai3an. many families do small private grgai3an parties for some reason?! i even was invited to a "grgai3an party" this year that said "no kids allowed" on the invitation!!!! LOL WTH?!
we already have birthdays ,, noons,, and a3yad .. theyre all indoor .. the only unique thing about grgai3an is the going from door to door factor .. !? i really dont know why people are becoming so boring lol ?

this was Abdullahs and hamoods (my kids 3-1) first grgai3an in kuwait .. and since ive been trick or treating with them on Halloweens .. and since i know how much fun it is for all of us .. i decided to do grgai3an with my kids instead of an indoor party or sending them off with the nannies! (do not even get me started on handing kids to nannies!!!)

you would not imagine the amount of fun and bonding we had .. the new neighbors we got to meet .. and the encouragment we got from everyone we visited.. it was sooo nice and felt soo right and natural :) an elder woman came to me and asked .. are these your kids? i replied "yes".. she then said "bless you (allah ebarik feech mnn omm.. zaina tsaweeen wallah 3afya 3laich" her words made my day (hugs)

after our rounds.. i head back home. our door bell was ringing for more people doing grgai3an.. and guess what i saw .. a young mother with her kids doing grgai3an! was soooooooooooo cute!! and refreshing i totally loved her! mashallah 3laiha ..

so to all the families out there .. mommies and daddies .. give it a try! youur kids will enjoy it a 1000 times more if it was with u .. not to mention its the most legit excuse for u to enjoy these things again with out feeling silly about it! :p

kl 3am wnto b5air .. o 3asakom to3odon kl sina o to9omona ;)

Ramadan @ Wilshire Blvd

Salam all..

its ramadan mashallah.. the beauty of the closeness to Allah in this month cannot put in words or measure. its a blessing that we make it from one ramadan to the next, and for that im thankful, its a blessing that all my family and friends are having this ramadan with me, and for that im most thankful :) alf alf al7mdellah. last ramadan was spent in LA.. some, very few americans wished me "a happy ramadan" which ill never forget because it was very kind of them :) also.. i and hub + abood would be cooped up in the apartment all day.. no zwaraat no grgai3an no qabgaat or graishat or tibareek shahr .. just my preciuos little family. it was kind of nice.. i miss that sometimes. we would break our fast on cereal sometimes.. frozen pizza from traderjoes and ofcourse deliciuos huge california dates with yogurt .. now when i see how huge each iftar is .. it makes me wonder if this is at all right? if allah would approve of it? .. we donate few kds to people in somalia for example.. but why would we spend this much on food to beggin with.. why these huge portions and all this variety?

other than all of that .. its all lovely here! its confusing how i feel home sick at my own home somtimes.. dont know what to do about that. i keep saying home is where my family is. and its true.. as long as they are around me.. im content .. and to all of those who didnt make it to this ramadan, i pray you are in a better place.. ur gone but not forgotten.. in my heart and thoughts always .. love u all (hugs)

an honest man

cement floors, cracked, cold, dead-very cold
i cant sit up; im afraid my skin will peal
everything hurts.
my bones wont heal.

im stuck in the dark, in the cold,
im beyond broken,
i loath the air.
the stench of ache and despair.

"9 years of what i ask?"
"9 years of what i ask?"
"9 years of who f*&$*@% cares?!"

i get up;
my knees dig through the solid ground
my heavy breath burns the crust of frozen air.
my skin suffers with thirsty viscous blood.
and my soul is weak,

i stand up on my own, my very weak own.
i look up, my neck hurts.
every f^&%$^ joint hurts
i see nothing. but "me"
im all i need to "see"

my heart beats, one beat at a time.
the sound of it is very beautiful.
cant "she" see?

-smile-

oh i forgot: "who f&*(&%$@ cares?!"

-im right here-

now i know for sure im getting OLD!!

it was not me turning 29 .. nor was it having to take care of two kids.. that made me realize/feel that im getting "old"
its when my cute little niece joined the blogsphere!! that it hit me!! man does time run fast..
this is amazing .. im astonished by the concept of time now .. dates, days and numbers!
alf al7imdellah .. im feeling pretty content and at peace these days .. enjoying my daily life, the simple things. trying my best to always be positive with a smile on my face .. to me i succeed in a day when i get someone to smile back :) again alf al7imdellah ..

the reason i posted was because of this girl "fatooma" my lovely witty smart and beautiful niece :*
welcome to the blog world 7bebty! cant wait to read ur posts :*

hope everyone is well ..
like always .. no3ik misses everyone so very much!

home sweeet home

i have missed lkwait wahalha :)