See the Sun ...

I heard this song, for the first time today!

I've listened to it, more than 20 times so far!
A friend who is trying to help out a friend who lost a loved one!

Since we all have friends, since we all lose people we love. This song is about us. It is dedicated to us...and them:
:) for every friend who forgave you, after you have wronged them.
For every friend who called you, to see if you needed anything.
For every friend who was thinking about you, while driving all alone.
For every friend who ever stood up for you.
For every friend who kept your secrets.

For every friend who felt terrible, because u were feeling bad.
For every friend who ever held you, to calm you down.
For every friend who listened to you over the phone, for hours, when you just needed to talk.
For every friend who ever saw you cry, and wiped your tears.
For every friend who helped you get out of your bed.
For every friend who would give you and neck and a shoulder massage, if u ever needed one.

For every friend who ever helped you get dressed.
For every friend who told you they loved you.
For every friend who cried with you.
For every friend who never judged you.
For every friend who kept their promises.
For every friend who accepted you, with all your differences.
For every friend who hugged you.

For every friend who ever held your hand ....... to give you their share of strength, love, and courage. :)

The thing I cherish most bout friends, is when they hold your hand, they say it all.

Friends are really always there for us. they are not like family, because you are born in your family from day one. A friend stays with you all the way, because they choose to, because they want to.
Friends are priceless.

To all my friends out there...

I love you guys :*


this song is for you
See The Sun.
artist: Dido " i love her"

I'm comin' 'round to open the blinds
You can't hide here any longer
My God you need to rinse those puffy eyes
You can't last here any longer
Yes they'll ask you where you've been
And you'll have to tell them again and again
And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day
Well I promise you you'll see the sun again
And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness
And I promise you you'll see the sun again

Come on take my hand
We're going for a walk,
I know you can
You can wear anything as long as it's not black
Please don't mourn forever
She's not coming back

Yes they'll ask you where you've been
And you'll have to tell them again and again
And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day
Well I promise you you'll see the sun again
And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness
And I promise you you'll see the sun again
And I promise you you'll see the sun again

Do you remember telling me you found the sweetest thing of all
You said one day OF this was worth dying for
So be thankful you knew her at all
But it's no more

And you probably don't want to hear tomorrow's another day
Well I promise you you'll see the sun again
And you're asking me why pain's the only way to happiness
And I promise you you'll see the sun again
And I promise you you'll see the sun again
See the sun again.

Hope you liked it?

Any ways I dont know if any one related to any of what i wrote.

Would love it if you could write a thing or two, the small things your friends have done, that made a difference. things that when you remember u simply smile :)

Any waysssssssssss take care.

Ta taaah :p

p.s

eng.fahad thanks for the help with the song ;) ur a gr8 friend!

im in love!

ok, its a shoe ......
so, sue me!
;p

CaVe WomaN! ;p

Open minded or not?
who gets to say?

well i guess this kind of solves the problem, try this i really liked it,

How Open Minded Are You?

appears to be that I'm:

You Are 64% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints. But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

u know what? i really like what it says, works just fine ;)

so what about you :)

p.s thanks nunu ... got this site from ur blog :*

Nothingness

I do wake up this time, earlier than usual.
Get into the shower, dry myself, do my daily facial, get dressed ......
All of this, minutes passing by, and I'm not thinking of anything.
I'm not feeling anything. I'm just -blank-.
Something has happened, something very trifle and small.
I cant even recall what it was, but it crushed something immense in me. or just woke it up
It stopped me from feeling close, or excited ...
Ummmmmmmmmm ... I try and think again what could it be?

Why doesn't anyone get me?
That's what everyone on earth keep saying to themselves.
Is it true that no matter how many friends, family, and partners u have, you are always alone?

Nobody gets you!

I know we all make the effort to get along with people we know, to share their interests. I do know for a fact that it could be exhausting and it can just suck the energy out of your soul.
Even if u loved someone, that doesn't mean you should have everything in common, it is only natural to be d-i-f-f-e-r-e-n-t. Same thing goes with friends.
but...
is there really this person, that you don't need to make any effort with.
someone that really, and i mean really gets you and you get him\her.

I'm a socially active person, I have a lot of relationships, but I always keep wondering, did I ever get to that level or not?
Even if I did, how would I know?

So that's how my day started-- full of Nothingness.

Thee Day!

21-May-2006
Sunday
5:30 PM
All gathered at my friends place :p getting ready, makeup, hair and other stuff. Each girl helping the other, that's what friends are for.

5:45
Were all in one car :P our PRADA car of course .... playing wedding songs " fa9la" and
"yibabation" ...... non stop, But we had to stop at the "gam3iya" get us some "RED BULL"!
as if we needed any !!

6:00
Traffic !! Never seen traffic like this, many police cars, lol the only thing that was missing was tanks.
We parked, we walked. got to the buss, squeezed our selves in, everything made us laugh! We couldnt stop taking pictures of everything and anything ( sailaniyat) :p we even took a picture of the guy giving us directions.

6:10
Still walking and walking everyone else was walking, photographers from every magazine and newspaper known or unknown in Kuwait was there asking to take our pics, what the hell! We've got our own camera Dudes :p

6:30
My heeeeeels are starting to hurt now :p so good thing were near the stadium, the first thing we saw was a huge RED BULL table, red bull people red bull red bullls lol we felt at home immediately :p
We walked in, now were actually IN!!! My jaw dropped the minute we stepped !!!!!!
The biggest crowd i ever saw !!!!! Live . the crowd the balloons the lights the grad`s the people the cars the cops. All wrapped up in this really just amazing vital image! I was speechless. So were my friends, we couldn't stop saying "WOW"!!!

6:35
Were asked to be seated, each has a flag or small lights , pompoms .... etc
and you cannot not hear the buzzing of everyone speaking! U know that state when the human language sounds completely alien to you. It is scary ! everyone talking at the same time very fast, letters get smudged into each other lol i don't have any other way to describe it.
It was like a reunion, a year past since we really graduated and now suddenly were all sitting next to each other, girls are hugging, guys are hugging too ( boohoo) hehehehehe
Any ways it was sweet sweet nice n sweet .
*my feet :( hurt

7:00
They start with the drums and its !!!! ( grrrrrr) i don't know drums have this affect on me they make me go ( pizzzzzzzt)!
Then people we really don't know or care about start giving speeches, long and boring ones. Were all still speaking of course, specially the girls section ;)
The amount of energy, i could literally feel it go through my entire body! all of those people gathered in one place, thousands and thousands all anticipating and full of excitement. it was like a bomb waiting to be exploded. Reminded me of e.e.cummings poem, the "stadium" when he describes how a crowd seems like a huge powerful creature capable of doing anything it wants to . how dangerous it could be if it lost control!
The power the vibes every where!!!!!! i can still feel it.
*i also can still feel the pain ... oh my feet :`(

7:45
They start awarding each faculty, ours i think, and also most people described it was the WILDEST!!! :P People didn't get even to hear our faculty`s name, because we started cheering before they called it out :p we were standing on our chairs, jumping ( with heels) i don't know how the hell was it possible? How did it that happen !!! Screaming from the top of our lungs waving the flags, balloons in the air, sparkly stuff every where... Just magical ! The ( yibab) again . hehehehehehehehe
It was FUN FUN FUN FUN ...... Like a dream.

8:30
When they were done with the other 17 faculties, we said our goodbyes taking pictures together, probably for the last time now. It was sad but joyful at the same time. Girls really love each other although they gossip, but still that doesn't mean that they don't love each other, its just normal to gossip ! isn't it? I will really miss them all :(
Then was the time for the >>>>>> FIRE WORKS <<<<<<<
Just beautiful :`)
Any ways so we walked down the stadium to meet our families, again hugging and taking and more pictures :D i love you dad :*
*hope i can walk now, my feeeeeet !

9:30
Friends still high on RED BULL. So we decided to all go out. Where to, where to? Driving around pointlessly, with no direction, plans or what so ever. We ended up in AL Sheraton! Please no body ask me why!
Still in our grads uniform, we walked in, and everyone just smiling at us and congratulating, wishing us luck, i think it was everyone except for the Kuwaitis !! ( Snobs) >:(
Lucky us, there was this red buss ( London buss) parked right in front of the Sheraton. We were like ( AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH) we took pictures loads of em, hehehehehee it really felt different like we were actually in London :p wearing our grads hats ! Now this would never happen if u were really in London! ;)

Appeared to be this British to Kuwait thingy going on, they were closing as we got in, but we got the chance to take more pics with the fake BIG BEN and other stuff u know vases of flowers at the reception :p
*i cant feel my feet anymore =`<

10:15
Before leaving we thought lets all go dance in the ( ladies room ) :p
u know how huge it is there, and there's this little room were u can just sit and watch TV, yes the one at the end of the hall. We went there and guess what we found lying right in front of us.............??

***FOOT MASSAGERS!!! 6 OF THEM !!!!!! WITH NO ONE ELSE IN THE ROOM !!!!
( if this was a movie u would hear " HAAAAALILOOOOYA HAAAALILOYA LILOYA..)
I mean was it coincidence or was it coincidence, my feeeeet ! are saved my prayers were answered the most generous gift I ever had, sometimes u just hate ur heeeeels, and love ur feet more. i threw them in the air and ran bare foot . So we all attacked the poor thingies, had a foot massage it was the best foot massage ever, with all my friends my best greatest friends :********** we had the world right under our feet, what more could we ask for!! we just wanted to sleep we really did. Unfortunately we also had to go home and actually eat something other than red bull. ( i know its a drink)
We kissed the massagers goodbye, kissed each other goodbye .... :* *:
and went back home, but we were still "yibabing and dancing"

WHAT A DAY!
I want to do it again :(

oh and p.s
special thanks to my dear very kind new friend :) cosimfree, tankya bro for helping out with the post ;)

Touch me again

I look at it, I touch it, but I can't feel anything, so I scratch it.
My nail pressing, going up and down, pressing
Why cant I feel it anymore, and why the hell is it raining?

I look at her, her smile! There's something special about her smile
I try to feel her again, try and remember how it used to feel
I'm still scratching, harder and harder, and still its raining
I miss it

I miss her smile, something special bout her smile
Oh my god, I really miss her skin
Her hair, her voice, her words …
Why cant I have all of it back again?

I miss her smile, something special bout her smile, something rare
No voice could be warmer, no hands could be gentler, no hair could be darker
No eyes could be calmer, no heart could be kinder, no smile could be as real!
A very honest smile, a happy smile, "you know there is a child living in her soul,
In her eyes", a dear friend once told me.

I miss our fights, the ugly times
I miss the teasing and tickling, the stroking and touching
I miss the fights and arguments and worrying… (I was such a b****)
Real, very real

I'm still scratching, but nothing.
A memory, is a cruel thing, it can give you back everything,
You can remember the scent, smell, look, taste and voice
A memory would never give you back the sense of touch.

So I keep scratching harder

Now I realize,
No matter how much and hard i scratch
She wont come back
i will never touch again, hug again, kiss again
It will never feel any different
It will always be just as cold, just as dark
No more sunlight
No more wings
No more skin

I do feel the wetness of the rain
The scratching of my nail
Rain streaming down my eyes, through my eyelashes
Cheeck to my chin, nose and neck falling..
The picture is wet!
I do feel the wetness I do feel the paper
I do see the smile, the eyes and the hair
But I don’t feel her. I cant.

I just miss it

Even thought she had the most beautiful smile I will ever see
Or remember ..
Looking at it, remembering it,
Can only make me cry.

I love you,
I know your looking down on me from up there
Some where … up there .. Smiling
ur smile is real, my pain is real.
Pain looking me right in the face, right here.

I miss you Mommy, I really do.

HELLo, who is this?

Ring Ring ... (my new sex and the city ring tone).....
i check the caller ID
its blank, long distance call ..... ( hmmmmmmm ) who could it be?
just as I'm answering the phone, it hangs up!

Ring Ring ....
again, same caller !
i answer the phone quickly :

N: Hello, who is this ?
?: ( guy answers me with the weirdest Arabic accent i have ever heard in my life!) yes this is Nokia company calling you from Turkey.
N: (?!!! what the hell!!) OK? what do you want?
?: Miss we had a draw on phone lines, and you won 75000$ dollars :) congratulations.
N: !! What are u talking about??
?: Mam you won 75 thousand dollars.

++++ now let me pause for a minute here, i know your all thinking its a prank why am i still on the phone, believe me I'm not stupid, but you might need to know that Ive been to Turkey not long ago, and i have a close family member who works at Nokia! so there u go, i had to be just a little suspicious!+++++

N: Well i don't know what your talking about i didn't participate in any kind of draw or what ever?
?: No its a Nokia draw we have on phone lines, all i need from you is your age, your full name and your bank account number.
(raqm 7sabi o esmi o 3mri!! ya 7alaw law!)
N: ( hehehehehe) your not serious are you? you think I'm stupid or something?
so i hang up on him.

he calls again .. i press silent, keeps calling !! so irritating >:[ calling and calling silent after silent !! and I'm like who the hell he think he is to harass me ? so i answer the freakin phone

N: what is wrong with you, i don't want your what ever stop calling me.
?: you won money this is a blessing from God you shouldn't throw it away its 7aram !!! :(
N: (laughing) OK then donate it give it to the poor and needy, i told u i don't want it. just stop calling me, you freak!! >:[
?: (silent) ..... are u sure u don't want it, i swear to God i swear with the Quraan I'm telling you the truth if you give me your name and account number, i swear i will transfer 75000$ .
N: ( got chills! he really started to freak me out!) Sir i thank you very much for your offer but I'm not interested, please don't call, and if you do I'm gonna have to contact the police, you understand what I'm saying....

just as i was about to finish, the guy hung up!

i kept thinking .... i had a lot of calls, but never never had a call like this one!

few hours later, went to a friend of a friends house, sitting chatting, then she starts to talk about a husbands friend of a friend, who's in jail for a money laundry case ! in Kuwait.
here's what she said about the guy:

" he says he got a call from Turkey telling him he won 1000$ dollars, first he thought it was a prank, but some how they convinced him that he really won, he gave them his account number, the next day a 10000$ dollars was in his account!! then he couldn't believe himself and he really thought it was his luck! not until the police came and told him that hes involved in a money laundry case!!!!! he told them he didn't have anything to do with this?? but the fact that he used (SPENT) some of this money, with out asking from where it really came from was his mistake. Now hes serving time in jail."

of course you can imagine the look on my face when she was telling her story!!
i could not believe the coincidence !!! i could not believe that Conn's really do exist ! i could not believe that this had actually just happened to me !!!!!!! it was like " the horror"

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ..... moral of the story:

BE CAREFUL!

ITS A

FREAKIN FREAK SHOW!

DUDES :P

PS. I'm still just shocked!

"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people."

V for Vendetta

what can i say, or where could i start ?

IT IS :
a movie that every person goes in and walks out with a different way of looking and viewing life.
especially when it comes to politics.
people cannot leave it with out having to discuss it, or argue about its ideas .
IDEAS ...
and yes ill have to agree that we are all V's each person have a V inside of him.
those who haven't seen the movie will not understand what i mean. the only thing i can tell you is you have, well after i saw the movie i wouldn't recommend the word "have", so ill just say you should or ought to see it :)
some thought that this movie:
is politically incorrect!
or that its too Jewish !
or that its pro terrorism!
or that its supporting what Osama Bin-ladin did !
or that its an artistic smart philosophical movie :p
or that its a revolutionary movie.
the beauty of this movie lye's in its openness, and the possibilities it provides.
it gives the viewer a whole to look through, each person could have only one peek!
and its totally up to his understanding, to what he will see that would take him into a tunnel.
a tunnel that leads to a "world of ideas".

i love the idea of ideas . that we humans are our ideas. ideas live for ever, although they cannot be kissed!

i will end my blog with this "astonishing" quote from the movie, when i heard it i almost burst into tears and wanted to clap. it is really amazing and playful.
i would love it if you would try and read it for the first time, with out pausing :p and tell me what do you think it means ;)

"V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V. "



i so want to see this movie again (uncut)
seeing the truth right in your face, right in everyone's face, makes u feel naked, in a good way.
it is honest, it makes u want to cry.
i know i always cry in movies, but i never cried in a movie because the truth felt overwhelming.
it said what a lot of people only thought of, some don't even have the courage to even think of, it said it, but it was wearing a mask!

" V: Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof."

A Baby Champ*

Nanooosah is back guys :)

with her semi mini pony tail.
Nanoooosah would like to introduce her elder sis .... Farfooorah ( 7our)
Farfoor is one year older than Nanoosah . so shes now two years old.

watching them play or fight together is one of the most beautiful things .
NoNa is so naughty and hyper she would scream throw stuff try and break anything her eyes would see and her tiny hands could reach, in return Farfor is the opposite, she would follow her baby sis, where ever she goes and try and repair, put back and tidy her sisters mess !!!!

it is totally heartbreaking :( cutest thing you can imagine.

7oori is in love with her baby sis she would always squeeze her, kiss her and cuddle. she calls her "baby" or "nanooshha". it is very difficult to have a baby sister when your only two years old! 7oor is dealing with it perfectly, and for that i have great respect and admiration ;) shes a champ*

i love Nanosah and everything, but 7oooori is my favourite kid on earth.
she is so cute so quiet, sweet and just charming. she has the most beautiful smile and teeth.
I also have to mention that shes in love with the camera, loves taking pictures, shed be a great baby model ;)

any ways, that's the little gang Nanoosah and Farfoorah are together :D both working their baby steps through there very interesting days ;) discovering the world together.
for now, they have both discovered they have to fight over Barny (aaaaaaw). their first crush ;p

any way hope u have a special day :)

again an introduction to a world full of sunlight and love, that i simply adore.