Saturday, May 27, 2006

Nothingness


I do wake up this time, earlier than usual.
Get into the shower, dry myself, do my daily facial, get dressed ......
All of this, minutes passing by, and I'm not thinking of anything.
I'm not feeling anything. I'm just -blank-.
Something has happened, something very trifle and small.
I cant even recall what it was, but it crushed something immense in me. or just woke it up
It stopped me from feeling close, or excited ...
Ummmmmmmmmm ... I try and think again what could it be?

Why doesn't anyone get me?
That's what everyone on earth keep saying to themselves.
Is it true that no matter how many friends, family, and partners u have, you are always alone?

Nobody gets you!

I know we all make the effort to get along with people we know, to share their interests. I do know for a fact that it could be exhausting and it can just suck the energy out of your soul.
Even if u loved someone, that doesn't mean you should have everything in common, it is only natural to be d-i-f-f-e-r-e-n-t. Same thing goes with friends.
but...
is there really this person, that you don't need to make any effort with.
someone that really, and i mean really gets you and you get him\her.

I'm a socially active person, I have a lot of relationships, but I always keep wondering, did I ever get to that level or not?
Even if I did, how would I know?

So that's how my day started-- full of Nothingness.

19 comments:

Dr.Lost said...

:) shotgun ..

ok.. u'll know when u meet someone that u totally get and totally gets u back.. its that simple.. i know that sounded lame and plain, bas it is that simple.. u'll just know :)

Piers Smith said...

we are ALL alone.. takes courage to see this, but as soon as you do, you find you are no longer alone (you join the community of solitaries).. those who get that will get you ;)

NuNu™ said...

Ok 1st of all, feeling nothing and blank happens to everyone from time to time.. In fact I for one get that A LOT!!! And I think till this very day it's happening.

Secondly, It's not about "Nobody gets you".. It's actually about you! You're thinking in a negative way that makes you feel no one understands you or gets you!

And finally, I too am a socially active person.. And I have the exact same problem and feeling of yours!
I know I'm not helping I'm just saying that you could help me when you know what to do!

I don't know if that lah 3elaqa bil mawthoo3.. Bes I just wanna say my motto:
When I do something right no one remembers, When I do something wrong no one forgets!

ZiZoTiMe said...

Until this time U don't have that special person cause If u have him/her then It's gonna change your life 4ever

You're going to share everything with this close friend, even every little silly secret will be a subject to talk with that person

Everyone must find his/her soulmate at this life, but sometimes we ignore that person or we don't wanna give him/her the chance to start the close relations with us

Until that day... Just relax ;)

jiji said...

i sooooo hear u!!!

i like to believe that am a very social person.. but recently ive noticed how i go with the wants, needs and desires of the other party.. its not like i dont have a personality "ma3ndy shakh9eya ;p" bs i dunno why i feel like i hafta make sure ppl jidamy are comfy with me! ok wut abt me?!?!?!

so heres a fresh thought.. please u and u ALONE!! cuz mako soul mate to seek wala ba6eekh.. if there were a soul mate to be then he better show up.. me not go around the block lookin for him ;p

Laby said...

I agree with Mr. Smith when he says that we are all alone. Moreover, whats makes this feeling worse is when ppl use u as a bridge for them to get what they want. It is so sad that even a person's closest friend does that to them.

No3iK said...

*dr.lost
ummm u make it sound very easy!
im happy for you ;)

*piers smith
ummmmmmm very insightful and true,
we are really alone but we dont know it
when we do, idont think were alone anymore.

*nunu:
7beeebty first of all thank you very much for trying to help out :)
i think its cute.
Everything u mentioned I can relate to. So let's promise if we ever know what to do about it:p we will tell each other.

*zizo:
Oh so your there to :P im happy for you too, seems like the guys are getting lucky! or are they
im starting to think that u guys don't know what I really mean! Any ways thanks 5ayo ;P

*jiji:

herehere sis :)
i know it's frustrating, it's like u never get to get any "you" time only when ur alone>>> right?
sooo ... whats the solution then?
Were still looking,
And hun don't u dear get up and start looking, that one should be the one looking for you: p

*laby:
7bebty :* thank you very much for passing by again, and yes I have to say what Mr. Said is very smart :) and the bridge thing is really!!!!!! Unfair gets on my nerves sometimes. So u need to be careful:*

Baroque said...

i know what u mean..
*sigh*
i want mr.right! right now!

PS. kinda doubting his existence!

LiLaCs said...

Ya No3ik..Darlin..Look..You are YOU..Your own person..Your life revolves as of the present around those who you care about and yourself..When you feeling "nothingness" Its totally and utterly normal..DOnt worry about it..As for Mr.Right he might be staring at you in the face or hiding behind the shadows..You cant make people come to you cherie..You just have to be someone who people CAN come too..So chin up rub some choclate smelling body creme on you from the body shop, take a deep breath and repeat after me "I am Me..I will meet the one who can make me swoon sooner rather then later oh and Johhny Depp as Jack Spparow is beyond comparsion:P"

No3iK said...

*baroqua... :)

ur so cute.... :) sweets life is all about waiting, isnt it, so waiting for him/her is just part of it i guess !
my post is of course bout the MR.RIGHT, but what about the right FRIEND! .... ummmmmmm ..... is it even fair to use the word right? are we somehow grading the people we know with points? i don't know!

*Lilacs :)

hehehehehehe u really made me laugh this morning thank you. cause I came in to work really late today, wasn't feeling that good, but u changed that ;) see .... there are people who can simply write, the Right COMMENT ;p
any ways sis chin is always up, u use chocolate i use strawberry ;P
its the people who need to, u know notice things or just appreciate them lil bit more.
i do miss really laughing.
any ways thanks 7aboba :*

LiLaCs said...

galob galob really..Strawberry? try the choclate come on!! Laughing reduces stress you know that eh? You know how many caliories you burn when you laugh?...

.....
...
..
.
I dont either :P Look it up and tell me:P lol..

No3iK said...

* lilacs
ok look here:
on the estimate of 10 minutes only,
if you :
talk on the phone 6 cal.
sleep 6
writing 6
driving 13
sex 26
total: 56 not bad eh?


ok when it comes to laughing :

" Buchowski found that laughing raises energy expenditure and increases heart rate 10 percent to 20 percent. Ten to 15 minutes of laughter could increase energy expenditure by 10 to 40 calories per day, which could translate into about four pounds a year."

http://www.mc.vanderbilt.edu/reporter/index.html?ID=4030

now that's interesting :)
so when ur in a relationship, it involves all of the above ur really burning a lot of calories everyday :)
no need for the gym guys.

LiLaCs said...

sex on 26? I always knew it was overrated:P

No3iK said...

lol
keep inmind, that is only if it took 10 minutes :p
looooooooooooool
poor girl, can imagine the look on her face ;p heheheheheh.

fractal00 said...

i would like to disagree ... everyone understands you if you let them understand you. Some people attribute that to the soul mate or the partner whom you fall in love with, but that is only because with that person you open your heart and you share your thoughts and deepest feelings with. Among friends although we open up to an extent but something inside keeps holding us back from pouring everything out.

But that's my theory at least ..

fractal00 said...

i would like to disagree ... everyone understands you if you let them understand you. Some people attribute that to the soul mate or the partner whom you fall in love with, but that is only because with that person you open your heart and you share your thoughts and deepest feelings with. Among friends although we open up to an extent but something inside keeps holding us back from pouring everything out.

But that's my theory at least ..

No3iK said...

i think its human to want and keep some private parts, for your self, u know, having a secret ...

but its easy to open up, very difficult not to be judged !
very difficult that people wouldn't want to change "some" of you.
very difficult that when you say something, they immediately know what you mean and don't take it the wrong way ..!

see what I'm saying, its not the person I'm talking about, its all the little things that we can have in all sorts of relationships.

the way i see it, u sometimes need to bend and chip and cut, for everyone else u know, then u just wonder, do they really know the real u.
or do they just want to know the person who adapts to them?

any ways :)
Fract100 , thanks for passing by and welcome to my blog ;)

Anonymous said...

hey girl iknow i'm late lol bs tawny graita tadreen exams dont think w ta3been 3omrek ana elperson bs elmsafa allah ye86a3ha lol ummmm ur so right its hard 2 find her\him but at leastits not the hardest thing lol u hurt me couse ialways think that i'm .... whatever forget it, sweety u r so ma adry bs idont think that there is sombody like u (now) a7sek jam3a alot of diffrent things in ur personalty mrra nice bs not easy ena tlageen person ktha b3ad bs dont ever give up nothing is impossible
lewii

No3iK said...

heeeeeeeeeeey sweets :*

thanks for coming !! arent u supposed to be studying ?? haa !

almuhim, thank you for ur words they mean alot, sorry wallah u know ur .... u know the ur like best.
i can totally be myself when im with u.
bs im talking in general here ,, this isnt personal 7aboba :*

thanks again .. love u miss u.