The Orange

a dimmed view for everyone,
not to see ..
i brush my eyelashes ..
i close my eyes ..
i stop breathing ..
now ...
we can all see ..

its a message,
not a storm.
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*ps: please everyone drive safely .. hope all is well.

To all the non pregg ladies ;)

so for you NON PREG GALS .. a list of what your NOT missing ;p

Lets start with the baby kicks, the oddest places u could imagine!! sometimes it feels like PINS .. and some times more like electricity going through you!! its not comfortable .. and could get scary!

the ITCHYNESS!! ur entire body starts to itch .. and there is nothing u can do about it .. no bodyscrubs .. showers .. moistorizers .. natural oils, i have tried everything .. the itch is always there .. and its not the kind you can just ignore.

SLEEPING ON MY LEFT SIDE EVERY NITE! is another way you can torture someone ... yes! i have to sleep on the left side ONLY! all nite .. and not move or roll over .. since sleeping on the back or right side .. would slow the blood flow to the baby .. :s

bleeding gums while brushing ur teeth!! :S the horror of a pink toothbrush everymorning :(

the clothes u just ADORE! dont fit anymore ..maternity clothes are simple ugly! not to mention NO MORE HIGH HEELS!!! x```( im soooo soooo bored with flats!

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Humiliation, prepare ur self to "throwup" at almost anytime! any place! with out a warning. :/

you miss feeling simply comfortable! you deal with difficulty in breathing! heart burns .. and back aches! all at once.

your no longer described as (hot .. sexy ..attractive.. etc) ur either beautiful, pretty, radiant, cute or glowing! thats it! ok theyre all sweet .. but i think its boring :p

being very emotional! when u cry over almost anything .. everyday! basically you (pms x 10 for 9 months!)

people always stare at you .. and somehow since u have a huge belly now .. its considered ok! not to mention the ones who approach and ask to touch ur belly!!

The penguin walk! not being able to jump, run up the stairs, walk long distances with out losing ur breath! not being able to keep up with the ppl your with. the gym!God i miss that :( and dont tell me that i can do the preggos exercise!! theyre not an option .. theyre just there to humiliate us even more!

not benig able to munch on SUSHI .. JAP food .. add to that .. coffee , tea , chocolate salt and suger! a long list of ( no no`s)

when you get ill .. flu or what ever .. there are no meds you can take, nothing so far is 100% safe .. it will take u twice as long to recover .. in other words .. you WILL suffer.

being deprived .. of massages! ok i know theyve got these special preg messages .. but wheres the fun when you cant lay on ur tummy!! i mean thats the whole point of a massage .. going somewhere to lay on ur tummy!! but no, in this case, they massage your back while ur sitting!!!

LOL this one is actually funny, could be cute :p getting a popped belly button! ;p saying hello to the out side world.

in some cases (my case) .. not allowed to drive ur car :(

forcing food up your throat, having to eat food you hate.. 'eatign for two!!' i hate it when they say that x@

every womans nightmare .. (STRETCH MARKS) i still havent got those .. they say some ppl just dont get them! so keep praying with me :)

and finally .. the constant constant constant .. worrying! i have never in my life worried this much! for every checkup .. every i dont know what ..
you worry .. bout the babies health .. and yours .. not to mention .. ur DUE DATE! the constant waiting .. count downs .. and the nitemares you have.

oh yes .. its one rough road to take .. right now it seems endless ..

hope everyone is well ;)

late at nite un welcomed guest

I didnt get any sleep last nite ... thanks to the very talendted very smart blood sucking mosqueto friend of mine!

the entire day while i was having lunch, then watching tv, then got online .. then hub got home, for almost an entire day .. she made sure she kept me in good cmopany .. specialy when it came to my legs ..

i had bites all over the place!!! THAT B****! she wouldnt take a break!
finaly was time to go to bed .. and that is when the real drama started!

u know the feeling when ur heavy body is finaly lyed down on the most comfortable bed, cold sheets and ur favorite pillow! yeah that .. i was just starting to get comfortable .. when suddenly imagine the worst skreechiest noise u ever heard yeah that!! would come in .. so loud and out of no where almost going all the way inside ur ears!

"ZZZZZSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTKKKKKKKKKKKKK"

it was my lil friend .. wishing me a good nite sleeep!!! :s

I JUMP STARTED TO SLAP MY EARS!!!!

"GOOOO AWAAAAAAY"

hub wakes up !!! "whats wrong????"

i was almost gonna start crying coz i couldnt handle it any more ..

the mosqueto was following me .. i cant sleep like this!!

at 1:00 am .. we open the lights and wait for her royalty to show upp but .. no ... shes way smarter than that .. she only shows her ugly face .. when the lights are off ..

i go to sleep again .. as i was drawsing ...

"ZZZZZSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK"

@@ !!!!!!!!!!!

that scenario went on the entire nite! we were only able to sleep after we decided to keep the lights switched on!!!!

which is not considered sleeping at all ... we were under her mercy ...

finally around 5:40 am .. hub goes up and switches the lights off .. coz no one really could sleep .. hoping she gave up and left ...

5 minutes .. it took her five minutes!!! and it was

"ZZZZZZZZSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTKKKKKKKKK"

all over again @@ !!! and its always MEEE!!! WHY MEEE!!!

i got out of bed .. panting .. yelling ... "WHERE ARRE U!!!!"

lol just like the scene in "i know what u did last summer " ..

and everytime i wakeup there would be a new bite .. some where else ..

enough is enough ... 6:00 am .. were both up looking terrible .. sitting on the bed .. waiting for a sign .. anything .. i wasnt leaving this house untill she was DEAD!

exactly at around .. 6:15 am .. we finally killed our little unwelcomed un invited guest :D the heart breaking part is that when my hub (my hero!)finaly got a quick glimps of her .. squished her with a tissue box on the wall!! MY BLOOD WAS ALL OVER THAT WALL!!! :S it was horrifying ..

it feeeels so strange knowing that someone/thing is actualy taking ur blood! with out ur permission! how RUDE IS THAT!

so now im at work .. sleep deprived .. feeling itchy in so many places .. plus i might need some blood :p

i honestly believe .. mosquetos are like the creatures that come from the gate of hell .. im sure they even descend from like dracula or something! how can she dissapear so quickly! she was there and then shes not!! they look so ugly and evil .. and they suck living things blood .. after drugging them ... how creepy is that!

anyways i think my vent is about over .. sorry for the lengthy post ..

have a good day all :)

suicidals

when a guy stretches his arm ... pulls up his sleeve ..

and says: "release me from my misery"

and no it was not a joke, he totally meant it, he did that only after i asked him: "can i help you?" not to mention .. i ve only known him for two days!

i think im dealing with a real suicidal here ... he sometimes scares me ..
i dont know what to do! :(

*ps: i miss my domain :(

(bgara) accident

i and hub driving .. we reach a turn and stop .. waiting for the cars to pass by .. and suddenly (DABO0M!)

a car hits us from the back .. i felt the entire crash go straight to my back ..

.. hub goes out ..

i could see the drivers face in the rear mirror (unfortunately a woman) yes i know how predictable .. and she had both hands covering her face! she was sooo afraid and shocked ..

she comes out of her car .. and the minute she does all i could hear was YELLING!

i couldn't believe my eyes! shes the one who hit our car .. and shes the one upset!

the first thing my hub said:

"u just hit my car! and my wife is pregnant inside!!! why didn't u stop??!!"

she replied: "WELL I DIDNT SEE YOU! ITS NOT MY FAULT! and theres nothing wrong with your car .. why are you complaining"

hub: "its not just the car! and yes there is something wrong .. u ruined my rear bumper .. its broken cant u see!" he pointed at the damage ..

she: ... "its minor minor damage!! it wont cost much .. and how do i know this damage wasn't here before i hit u!!!"

OMG! the nerve she had .. calling us liars! :s

i was sooooooooooo pissed! i wanted to drive over her yelling face ..

i knew she was a (bgara!!) type of woman, from the way she was talking .. and i knew she maybe didn't have insurance and thats why she was trying to get out of it by making a scene ..

i called hub .. all i wanted was to go home .. because my back was killing me .. i asked him to please just take me home .. and let the B**** go away .. i couldn't stand her any more ..

*ps: to who ever u are (the woman) i hope u somehow read this .. the pic of the post is dedicated to you.

hope everyone is well ;*

just another day

im at work and im so depressed,
you sometimes wakeup knowing that this is going to be a bad day.
there are no signs for bad days .. you can never see them coming.

i have lost my phones charger, my phone has been switched off for two days now. funny part is, if i want to get a charger now I will have to buy the same phone again just to get the charger from the box! since my very smart phones company decided not to sell chargers. But I have to say living with out a mobile for the past two days, have been a bliss, reminded me of how we used to live before ...the good old days. No attachments just you out there doing what ever u are doing no distraction or interruptions. it was sweet :)

so back to now, im so hungry i did not eat a thing yet I don't think I will until lunch time.

I want to see my friends .. more specifically (dalol) since she's back in Kuwait for Easter .. but i cant! and I really don't know why?? lol 7adna day5en!

last but not least i would like to thank all the ppl who smoke indoors with no respect or what so ever for the other clean lungs breathing around them! thank you for suffocating us, thank you for ruining my makeup (since im allergic and get teary eyes when exposed to smoke), oh and thank you for making me smell like a chimney.

obviously my day is still not getting any better neither is my mood.

thats why i had that (top) pic .. hoping for good luck to come and save the day :) what can i say im a hopeful person.

hope all is well :*

BIG News!

i still cant believe it!

im speechless ...

yes, its me ...

hey mom,
how are you .. its been very long since weve last talked ..
well technicaly its now 4 years 6 months and 19 days.
i wonder bout ur life alot .. what do u do everyday ?

hows ur hair now? what do u wear? do u have friends?
do u hear/see me .. ? or is it all a myth?
i sometimes wonder if u even remember me?

you have no idea how much i need u right now specialy now .. my life has been changing alot .. many many things .. most of them things u wanted for me .. and now theyre all happened/happening .. but ur not here to see or share them.

i cant get over the last nite i spent with you, how u asked me to curl up in ur lap and stroked my hair just like i was 5 years old again! u just wanted us to have mommy/daughter special time .. i sometimes think that u knew that i wasnt going to see you the next morning, but u didnt want to tell me.

instead u gave me a great good nite kiss, and let me sleep. i dont want to remember waking up from that awful day.

life is funny, keeps taking then giving, thinking by giving its somehow making up for what it took ..

anyways mom ... i tried manythings to stay intouch with you .. everything .. so i thought i havent tried my blog .. lol i sometimes wonder if u guys up there have internet ?? well maybe u dont need it .. i bet if u had it ur connection would be way faster than ours!

so this is me childishly, hoping that in heaven u maybe have internet and that u will actually type http://www.no3ik.com/ knowing that its ur daughters blog and also knowing that shes posting something for u to read ..
but im not hoping ull comment back coz that would be too much to ask for ..

i love love love love love love u sooooooo much 7bebty ..
missssssing u like hell .. hoping ill see u .. please even in a dream
i need to see u ok :*
love u.

How far?

when a friend calls, because he/she needs somone to talk to ..
just to talk .. vent .. and repeat what theyve been saying for the past 5 years ..

as a real friend your supposed to listen .. and care ..
simply be there .. but what if that friend of urs wanted more from you ?
what if they wanted advise .. what if they wanted you to pin point exactly what they should do .. regarding a life altering situation ..

as a real friend what should you do?

should you get your self out of it .. pretend that you have no idea, that you dont know what should be done! ..

although in my case .. and for the past 5 years i know exactly what should be done, and i know exactly that its the ONLY way out .. but i never dared even whisper it .. for many reasons ..
one of them is i do not want the responsibility of what may happen later on .. also, i belive people .. mature people should decide such things on their own.

so back to the question .. if a friend asks you what to do .. and insists on it ..
that it comes from you .. as a real true friend .. what should your answer be?

hope all is well :)

I hate politics ...

i really really do,
the world is filled with people and its only normal for them to think differently, have different backgrounds and take different stances.

politics only enhance these differences and turns them into a problem! politics seeks to let some get over the heads of some, to take whats not theirs, to get into struggles and endless arguments .. politics has been through all ages described as "UGLY" and thats the truth. Its dark and it dismantles the natural balance of society.

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"A man who does not think for himself does not think at all. It is grossly selfish to require of one's neighbour that he should think in the same way, and hold the same opinions. Why should he? If he can think, he will probably think differently. If he cannot think, it is monstrous to require thought of any kind from him."

Oscar Wilde, The soul of man under Socialism 1891

what i hate more than politics is "IGNORANCE" people who take stances with out any research or information, people who are being brainwashed and spoon fead all what they know .. people who do not think for them selves and just want to think and say what everyone else is saying! this is the bigger problem.

History is repeating it self and Kuwait is being shread to pieces .. with out taking any sides and with out even mentionnning what im talking about .. IGNORANT kuwaitis are the cause of this problem! if only they researched .. if only they checked what they have read if only they sat and thought for them selves for a minute .. and looked at all the facts .. half of the fuss and trouble we have would be gone if not did not exist in the first place.

I wish all of whats happening would stop, whats in the past is in the past .. the present says that were all living on this peaceful loving land .. why isnt it bringing up people that are peaceful and loving as well? whos falt is that? no titles for once ,, no strikes for once ,, no fights for once,, no bashing for once .. just us .. living together understanding one another .. thats all it takes.

I would like to end with a prayer: Dear Allah please let us live in peace, dont let us fight any more.. let this crisis pass on quickly and let it be the last one inshallah .. Allah please protect kuwait and all kuwaitis from any harm, even if it was from eachother .. again let us be at peace and content ya Allah.

hope everyone is well :)